I’m super-excited to have attended my first birth — other than the birth of my own children, that is.
A few months ago, our good friends Linda and derek asked me to be the doula for the birth of their first child. I’ve been interested in natural childbirth for several years, and I had been intending to _ask_ if I could be present at their birth. So I was completely honored to _be_ asked to serve as their doula, particularly since I have no experience!
I’ve been doing a lot of reading over the past couple of months to prepare: re-reading some of my “favorite”:/news/2006/baby-catcher-by-peggy-vincent/ “birthing”:/news/2006/birthing-from-within-by-pam-england-rob-horowitz/ “books”:/news/2006/ina-mays-guide-to-childbirth/, as well as delving into Penny Simkin’s The Birth Companion and The Labor Progress Handbook. It’s been fun to dive into the natural-childbirth culture again, this time from the perspective of an assistant. I have a lot of new tricks that I’ve brought along in my doula bag. And I found my own birth-time list of labor ideas and coping practices to be very helpful!
But most of all, my theory that the main job of a doula is to be empathetic, encouraging, and supportive is totally true. I trotted out a few new ideas for Linda to try during her early labor, but I think the best thing I contributed was to tell the parents specific ways that they were doing a great job. And didn’t they do fabulously! The birth stories of our “two”:/news/2007/the-labor-story/ “girls”:/news/2008/rosies-labor-the-cliffs-notes/ never included the long, slow, pre- and early labor that Linda and derek experienced. (I wrote the first draft of this post between contractions, while Linda napped.)
I think the experience of labor can often be imbued with customized lessons for the parenthood that’s to come. I love the way my friends received their slow birthing process as an opportunity to practice patience, take care of their bodies, and follow their baby’s lead. What great skills to have for parenting a newborn! They also did such a terrific job living in the moment, taking one contraction at a time, and experiencing this process fully — and those kinds of skills will be just what they need for enjoying their baby from the moment of birth on through the rest of their lives.
I felt so privileged to be here, helping my friends welcome their little girl into the outside world. And now that we’ve met Eve Annabelle, it’s all the sweeter!
Were any baked goods involved? And does this make you want to be a doula again? I’m confident that you were an encouragement and a help, and your goddaughter is beautiful. Way to go, Linda and derek!
Baked goods were definitely involved! I brought a chocolate birthday cake, which was reportedly good, but I wasn’t really in the mood for any when I left at 3:30 am. :)
And this totally makes me want to be a doula again! The main challenge, were I to do this more often, is the childcare — it’s impossible to schedule labor in advance!
I just happened upon your blog for the first time. I love what you’ve said about labor’s lessons for parenthood. I had never thought of that!
I am so Jealous, I want to be a doula! It is a dream, but as you said the child care is an issue, so perhaps later in life when my three are older!
you are the perfect person for a doula!
I totally agree with Katrina… you are just the right person to doula! An incredible birthing companion once told me that every mother-in-labor wants a mother… whatever that means to them… but generally someone who they can lean on and can get unconditional affection from… it is well worth the price of admission and man, what a joy!