Easier the second time

Although we aren’t quite out of rough newborn waters yet, I think we seem to be finding our “Rosie legs” pretty quickly.

Easier the second time

Photo: Roz gives her two cents. (Compare to Lucy at a similar age).

While it is definitely different to care for an infant plus a toddler, most of the time life seems surprisingly smooth. Jon and I have worked out a system of Rosie-duty at night that allows each of us to get some sleep (especially when we head to bed around 9pm!), in blocks up to three hours long. (Woo hoo!) Nursing continues to be easy and relatively comfortable for both me and Rosie. My emotions seem to have settled back into their usual pattern of gentle ups-and-downs. I even baked some brownies yesterday (from a mix, but still).

I am just trying to take one day at a time and trying to be grateful for the peaceful and joyful moments we happen upon. But part of me does wonder why things feel easier this time around. I notice a few factors:

  • Jon is still working a greatly reduced schedule, meaning we can tag-team against the little ones. Advantage: grown-ups.
  • Rosie is only eleven days old. Fussiness starts when babies are around two weeks old and peaks at six weeks. We could still be in for it in a big way.
  • Since nursing has been so easy, I’ve been willing to feed Rosie more frequently, especially in the evening. With Lucy, nursing really hurt — which means that poor Lucy might often have been simply hungry all those months we were bouncing her on the ball.
  • Jon and I have honed our parenting skills so perfectly that adding a newborn to our family mix doesn’t rock our world. (Ha!)
  • Jon and I are more confident about parenting, which makes everyone else more relaxed, too.
  • We have a lot more fussy-baby-soothing techniques under our belt that we haven’t even needed to try yet. Options are good.
  • The Lord has answered our prayers and sent us a relatively easy baby.

One thing that is certainly true: it is much easier to believe that we are in a temporary phase with Rosie as a newborn. When Lucy was born, for us newbie parents it was hard to imagine that she would actually grow into a mobile and verbal child who sleeps for twelve hours each night. And while this temporary sleep-deprived phase we’re in may last even six months or more, I do believe that it is temporary and that Rosie will grow into a little girl, pretty much no matter what we do. That makes it a lot easier to appreciate even her newborn quirkiness now!

7 Replies to “Easier the second time”

  1. Ann,

    My husband Toby prefers the box mix brownies any day over my homemade version. Good for you!

    This post gives me great hope for my future with two tiny ones (well, and a big one). I’m glad things seem to be going so well for you. God really does look out for us. Your little peanut is sooo cute!

    Bekah Deitrich

  2. As my aunt and mom like to remind me, when it gets rough just tell yourself “This too shall pass.” When we remember that it’s not permanent and God is in control, it becomes easier. I pray you do have an easier time. I know I did with Mo. He really is very different from Kaia, but he has still had his cranky difficult moments (hey don’t we all?)

    She is a beauty, just like her big sis!

  3. I liked Bekah’s remark most of all, but what did she mean about ‘…and a big one’ ? Hey, guys, we need to stick together on this!

  4. We think it is easier the second time too. But why is my newborn sleeping through the night (or only waking up 1 time) and our toddler is getting up several times? How is Lucy doing? Maddy did great the first few weeks and then some of the jealous issues have come up. Mostly wanting more of me and less of dad. But not huge issues. I hope Lucy is doing just as well as Maddy is.
    And how is your house? Ours is trashed….I think this is the hardest part of having two (but I went back to work when Lydia was 1 week and haven’t been home for a full day yet, so this could be the issue).
    Are you doing cloth diapers with Roz? We haven’t started yet with Lydia, but we only have Med size so we will when her butt grows. I should probably locate the daipers soon though!

  5. Naomi was just 17 months old when Gwenna was born…I think that she was shell shocked because she seems much more jealous now and Gwenna is 9 months. I feel sometimes that the 17 month gap is much harder than the one minute gap ( with my 11 year old twins )ever was. Probably an age thing for me.

    But things do get easier with each baby ( I think). For me it was/ is a confidence thing. There are so many things that I can just let roll off my back now…that I could not do with my boys…they (all 3) also are a huge help with the girls. However, I don’t think I will ever finish my laundry…

    God is really challenging me to be content during this phase…my temptation is just to push through but it goes fast…Enjoy your little ones! Be still hiding dust bunnies.

Your comment?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.