In honor of Lucy’s due date (April 16), we are posting the story of her labor and birth, even though it took another nine days for it to actually happen — and a year to write it up.
This story is far longer than most BNN posts, and please be prepared for some earthy details! We freely acknowledge that many of you may just want to skip this one. But for the rest of you, grab a cup of coffee and settle in with us. We hope it will be less painful (but just as exciting) for you as it was for us.
p{color:gray}. Photo: A “selves-portrait” taken the evening Ann went into labor.
*Check Up*
On Monday, April 24, 2006, we went to our regular weekly checkup with midwife Jenny Carney. Since we were now running over a week late, we set the date for inducing labor on that Friday, April 28, but we were really hoping Baby would jump-start things on her own before then. Jenny stripped Ann’s membranes at the appointment, and all morning and afternoon Ann felt kind of crampy, but it didn’t feel much different from all of the other pre-labor she had been feeling over the past few weeks. Late afternoon, we participated in some time-honored marital recreation, extolled both for getting babies _into_ the belly and, after nine months, encouraging them to come _out._ Ann cooked “Roasted Tofu and Peppers”:http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.fc77a0dbc44dd1611e3bf410b5900aa0/?vgnextoid=65c743e303a0f010VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&autonomy_kw=roasted%20tofu%20peppers&rsc=ns2006_m5, which was universally enjoyed. While she was cooking, she noticed her contractions coming pretty regularly (on the stove clock) — but were they “the real thing”?
After dinner we went for a walk, and Ann could tell the contractions were different because she could feel them in her back. Jon timed them carefully with a stopwatch while we walked, and they were amazingly regular: about 30 seconds long, starting every 2 minutes. Ann was definitely walking funny, especially during contractions, and we shot a short movie clip of her walking past on the bike path in Eugene Field Park. The crabapple blossoms were gorgeous and smelled great. This was around 7:30 pm.
p{color:gray}. Movie: Here’s the clip we’re talking about. Click the play button to view it (22 seconds long, 3.4 MB).
*Early Labor?*
When we returned home, Ann called Jenny. The contractions didn’t feel extraordinarily intense, but their frequency (frequent! at every two minutes like clockwork) made her think she should get some professional advice. Jenny advised Ann to go to sleep (ha! as if) and to call if the contractions got to be a full minute long. We were so excited that we really didn’t think we could sleep, so we watched an episode of _The West Wing_ and Wallace & Gromit’s _A Grand Day Out._ During our video entertainment, Ann realized the contractions were not to be ignored; she was totally unable to follow the storylines. By the time we were done, we certainly couldn’t have slept but were still doubting whether this was going to continue to escalate into full labor. About that time we published the post, Early labor?, here at BNN (at 9:41 pm). At some point, Ann went to the bathroom and had a big bowel movement, clearing out the system just like how the books say it happens! This was encouraging.
Ann then got in the tub with an audio book of _Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason_. She was probably in there around half an hour (Jon thinks a bit longer). She kept topping off the tub with hot water, but still ended up getting a little chilled. In the meantime, Jon made up our futon with fresh clean sheets and blankets. Ann got into the futon around 11:30 pm with her bathrobe on, and was starting to need to work through each contraction. We got the birth ball out, and she started buzzing her lips. Ann tried to have a glass of wine but really wasn’t interested.
*Enter: Dora the Doula*
Around midnight we called Dora, our friend and volunteer doula; she arrived around 12:30. Shortly after her arrival, we told her Lucy’s name — previously top-secret — since we figured we’d be talking to Lucy during the labor and wanted to start spreading the news! Dora immediately took Ann’s “back labor” very seriously. We alternated massaging Ann’s back during contractions. Around 1:00 am we called Jenny again. We don’t recall exactly whose idea that was, but Ann thinks it was hers, figuring that it could become difficult for her to ride in the car to the hospital if the contractions got much more intense. They were still “only” about 45 seconds long.
In that call to Jenny, Ann remembers still wondering, “Am I faking this?” But really, she knew she wasn’t. Jenny asked what had changed since the earlier call; Ann answered that the contractions were a lot more intense. Jenny kept her on the line, and they were on the phone through perhaps three whole contractions, which is probably what helped convince Jenny that it was time to roll. She asked how far from the hospital we were (“20 minutes”) and she said, “I’ll meet you there.” I think we were all relieved but surprised that Jenny gave that green light. Ann was nervous that we would get there and she’d be only dilated 1.5 cm or something depressingly small. Jenny recommended that Ann eat something before leaving the house (since she wouldn’t be allowed to eat at the hospital). Ann wasn’t hungry but ate a bowl of Cheerios anyway. (Is this why Lucy loves them so much?)
*It’s Go Time*
It took us a long time to get ready to depart. Jon got pretty grumpy because he was unaware that unpacked were still all Ann’s clothes she had scattered about that she needed to take, plus all the food items he’d thought were ready to go (like the champagne and chocolate truffles). He ranged all over the house gathering stuff and needing to add new bags to carry everything. He was embarrassed about needing to keep asking the laboring woman where something in particular was (as seen on one of our several lists). Ann later discovered that, when instructing Jon to bring the chocolate truffles, he thought she meant all 250 of them! Ha! That’s a lot of truffles, even to share with the nursing staff, so we had no shortage.
Meanwhile, Dora and Ann were working through contractions the whole time. Ann was conscious she was “supposed to pee every hour,” but it was getting harder to want to go, since she didn’t want to be on the toilet during a contraction. Ann put on her big peasant skirt, which she had long envisioned wearing, but couldn’t stand it after about ten seconds and whipped it off in favor of a gray draw-string skirt and flipflops. We had to discuss whether Dora would ride with us, but we agreed we were both going to want our cars there, so we drove separately. We left at 1:54 am.
The normally 20-minute drive took 10, with no traffic to speak of, and Jon judiciously running red lights. Ann kept buzzing her lips through each contraction. (No surprise that Lucy loves blowing “raspberries”!) After we turned onto Central Street in Evanston, Jon remarked that it was disappointing no cops had caught us running reds because it would have been exciting to have an escort. We first pulled up to the Emergency entrance (which Jon recalled Allison, our birth class teacher, directing us to do) and asked where a woman in labor should go. They directed us straight around to the Women’s Hospital entrance. As we turned toward there, we saw Dora coming back the other way and let her know we were headed there. Ann cried as we pulled up there, thankful she had made it through the car ride (not easy with contractions every minute or so). Ann had to stop in the hallway between the door and the Labor & Delivery ward to have a contraction, leaning against the wall.
*Labor _and_ Delivery*
When we entered, Jon cracked, “She claims she’s in labor!” (Which he immediately regretted, as perhaps sounding unsympathetic.) He wishes he’d joked, “Is this ‘labor _and_ delivery’? Because we got the labor part, and we’re needing the delivery part.” The desk staff asked whether Ann was Jenny Carney’s patient, because Jenny was already there. She complimented Ann on her t-shirt (which was Jon’s gray “Michigan History” shirt). They directed us right into the room (was it G624?), where the dimness appealed to Ann. It was very quiet on the ward, and we had no sense of anyone else being in labor or even around much. Shortly thereafter, Dora arrived (having parked in the Evanston Hospital structure and walked down). Jon went back out to the car to unload all the stuff, which took a couple trips. Jon then asked whether he should stay or go park the car, and Ann sent him off. Jon remembers this experience:
bq. I drove down to the structure (after briefly wondering whether I should be a cheapskate and find a place to park on the street), got the first spot inside the entrance (with Dora having gotten the first spot on the other side). I then walked back along that back street to the Women’s Hospital entrance, and it was dark and cold and brisk and I prayed for Ann and Lucy. It felt very much like no one was about, though there may have been a car or two.
*Measurements*
When Jon returned to the room, the women were all exclaiming with delight. Here’s what had been happening:
After we arrived, they put the fetal monitor on (with that stretchy elastic band, maybe the same material as the blue-pink-and-white striped hat they always put on newborns?). They let it run for perhaps 20 minutes (claims Ann, though that seems long) because they wanted to be sure Lucy’s heart rate was good over time and especially during contractions. Ann was eager to have the monitor off because she couldn’t get comfortable or be free — just a vague feeling of unease. Then Jenny said that after the next contraction, she’d measure the dilation — and it was five centimeters! Ann was relieved and so thankful: glad that things were so far along and also glad that she “hadn’t been making it up.” This is when Jon came back, hearing the excitement about five centimeters. He too was delighted.
At some point during the initial fetal monitoring, Ann was trying to foster small talk between Dora and Jenny, commenting on Dora’s two home births and family connections at Evanston. Habits die hard, even when in labor.
*Impressions*
After the first cervical measurement, there’s a lot that’s a blur. Here are some memories that we’re not sure are in sequence:
* Shortly after we arrived at the hospital, Ann had switched from buzzing her lips to low moaning, which helped with the increased intensity of contractions.
* Ann went to the bathroom to pee, thinking, “I have to make sure I keep peeing.”
* “I think I’m gonna throw up.” We brought her an insultingly small basin (though Ann didn’t care), and sure enough, she threw up successfully after a couple initial heaves. She said very gamely, “Well, I made it through the throwing up part.”
* Ann remembers kneeling on the bed and leaning sprawled on the birth ball. This was her favorite position, but she couldn’t do it all the time, because it hurt her knees after awhile.
* Numerous times they monitored Lucy’s heart rate, and it was always strong and steady and everyone seemed really pleased about it. Jon was always nervous listening for it, longing for it to be good information, not ambiguous or troubling.
* As soon as we got to the hospital, Ann took her skirt off for the fetal monitoring, then underwear off for measurements, then wore the “Michigan History” t-shirt till we got into the shower. And once a piece of clothing came off, it never went back on. In the preceding days, Ann had thought to herself, “All the books say you want to be naked, but I’m not going to be like that.” Yeah, right.
* Ann loved sitting on the ball and loved that they put a towel on it. That was comforting for leaning on it, too. Sat and tried a couple leaning positions, but never really did it long because of the back labor.
* The breaks between contractions were awesome — Ann just totally relaxed and “spaced out”:/news/2006/granola-girl. We had planned on having music (and it’s an awesome playlist, frankly), but Ann just didn’t want to hear anything when the time came.
* Every contraction, she had Dora and Jon rubbing her back. She was firmly directive, saying things like “I need help now!” And she’d get irked if Jon or Dora were rubbing upwards (having been told recently to do so), saying “down! down!” Then a few minutes later crying “up! up!” as if they were disregarding her request.
* Ann remembers people offering her sips from a straw: water from her pink Nalgene bottle, or juice — that yummy mixture of orange, cranberry, and grape juice with lots of crushed ice. Ann remembers being really grateful for this and wanting to be sure to say “thank you.” In fact, Ann was so courteous throughout this whole time! (The “up!” and “down!” is the only, comical exception.)
* At about 4:45 am, Ann tried getting in the shower. Ann had anticipated that it would be great, the hot water on her back, but she didn’t like it: didn’t like standing, didn’t want a chair in the little space. (Jon didn’t like it either, since the water never really got that hot, and had a weak low-volume showerhead, and he was freezing the whole time supporting Ann’s weight during contractions.)
* Ann asked for a scarf for her hair, so it could stay out of her eyes, and Jon gave her his bandana (the olive-green one), which she then wore most of the rest of the time.
* One of the times she was kneeling on the bed with the ball, her water broke in the middle of a contraction. (This was probably around 5:00 am.) She cried out, “Oh! I think my water just broke.” It was like a water balloon popped. Jenny confirmed that it was indeed the waters breaking and said it looked good and clear.
* The contractions started getting pretty intense, and Ann said, “I’m going to need some new ideas.” (This was in the small, earnestly whimpering voice she’d been using for some time whenever she spoke between contractions, in stark contrast to the loud, low tone she was moaning during contractions.)
* So then Jenny suggested a “slow dance,” which we did. Ann hung around Jon’s neck, a bit more heavily during contractions than between them — all 191 pounds of her. We didn’t have any music, and at the beginning Dora sang “Unforgettable,” but only for a little while. We worked this position for quite some time (between 30 and 60 minutes). We have photos of this (and a movie of one full contraction), which confirm this was around 7:30 am.
* Later in the night it was really stormy, and as it dawned Jon remembers noticing it had rained and how blustery it was.
*Operation Push*
So then at around 7:45 am, Jenny checked again, and Ann was at only 7.5 cm, having gained only a couple centimeters after all these hours of hard work. It was really disappointing. Someone said something like, “We’re going to have to pray,” Dora or Jon. Ann started repeating, “Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.” And then while Jenny was still checking, Ann started to have a contraction, during which she went all the way to 9.5 cm! Jenny was surprised and pleased, and it made her change tactics.
She said that we were going to try an old-school trick where Ann would push while having a contraction — this was supposed to get the cervix to 10 cm, probably due to the pressure of Lucy’s head. We did it and it worked! Ann thinks she said, “Thank you, Jesus, thank you, Jesus,” over and over again at this point. Now came time for the pushing — 8:00 am.
Ann remembers feeling quite uncomfortable at this point — not constant pain, but the breaks between contractions and pushes weren’t comfortable like they were before, since now there was a small child’s head in her pelvis. Ann expected to feel that “urge to push,” especially after reading so much about how women loved pushing and how it felt like a relief. Ann didn’t feel the urge to push, but Jenny gave the go-ahead to push with contractions. This was super-hard work, like pushing out the hugest, most constipated poop ever without feeling like there was any progress. Ann had read that you were supposed to push like you were pooping, and this was definitely true. Ann had also read that you should make noise or at least not hold your breath during pushes, but those pushes weren’t as effective. When she did push against her held breath, Jenny said those were really good, so she kept doing it. Later, Jenny said that Ann pushed “like a rock star.”
After one really huge push where Ann’s face turned purple, little bruises broke out all over her face, which we later learned were called “petichiae.” Ann mostly pushed from the squatting position, on the bed and holding on to the squat bar. Her arms got kind of tired, and when she leaned back between pushes it didn’t feel like a huge break. At some point, Jenny suggested Ann try pushing while lying on her side, but that felt awful, so we abandoned it quickly.
Ann remembers feeling pretty resigned at this point to the fact that the baby was just never going to come out. The pushing didn’t feel like it was making progress at all. Even when Jenny would say encouraging things like “good job!” or “that was a good one!”, Ann just thought Jenny was lying to make her feel better. Even when Dr. Goodwin was called in and they were clearly prepping instruments and scrubbing up to deliver the baby, Ann thought it was just an act to cheer her up, sort of like the story of the overly optimistic grandpa in “_Baby Catcher_”:/news/2006/baby-catcher-by-peggy-vincent/.
*Outdoor Baby*
But suddenly, Jenny could see Lucy’s head, and Ann was quite surprised but relieved. Jenny asked Ann to lean back for the pushes so that she could get a better look — which was pretty uncomfortable, but do-able for a short time. Ann thinks that during one big push in this position, she peed on Jenny (but only learned this later). Ann kept pushing as hard as she could with the contractions. Then Lucy’s head crowned, and just one push later she was out! Hooray! It was 8:49 am, Tuesday, April 25, 2006. (We’ve got an awesome photo that Dora shot that we call “Midwife-Cam,” because it’s shot from right next to Jenny’s head, so you see Lucy crowning and Jenny’s hands from her perspective. We wish we could show it to you, but it’s not exactly suitable for publication.)
p{color:gray}. Photo credit: Dora Winchester
Jenny immediately put Lucy on Ann’s belly, and “she was crying just as Ann was”:/news/2007/the-three-hundredth/. This baby was one “cheesy” baby, but adorable anyway! Ann remembers feeling totally stunned. She had expected to feel triumphant and clear, pleased with her success after less than an hour of pushing. But mostly, she felt astonished by the intensity of the whole experience. It was much more primal/animal-kingdom than she had expected. Jon cut Lucy’s umbilical cord (which was really fibrous and tough) and held her in the rocking chair.
It took a little while to deliver the placenta, but it finally came out. Then Ann got her minor tears stitched up, which took much longer than she had expected (although one doesn’t want to rush that sort of thing). After about 45 minutes, Ann tried to nurse Lucy. Neither of them knew what they were doing, but they made a valiant effort. Then the nursing staff gave Lucy a bath and shampoo, which she loved. When they took her footprints, they imprinted them on Jon’s arm, too, for fun. Jon called a couple of people to tell them the good news: Bill & Betty, Vince, Jim. Then it was off to the maternity ward to get settled into their room.
p{color:gray}. Photo: Papa announces Lucy’s arrival. Turns out, cell phones work just fine in hospitals. You can see Lucy’s inky footprints on his forearm. (Photo credit: Dora Winchester)
*Settling In*
We don’t remember whether Ann held Lucy in the gurney while they were going up to the room, but that seems right. We were in the room by 11:20 for sure, according to some photos’ timestamps. Ann was really focused on wanting to take a shower — she felt all sweaty and grimy and was looking forward to getting clean. The nursing staff was great, orienting us to parenthood and post-partum care. It took Ann a little while to be able to pee again, and when she finally did she was so happy she cried. Nursing was a challenge, but Ann and Lucy got a lot of helpful instruction from the staff. Jon became chief diaperer; Ann doesn’t think she changed a diaper at all in the hospital, and she never even got to see what meconium looks like! Jon went home for a couple of hours the first day to shower and post “the news that Lucy had arrived”:/news/2006/lucy-is-here/. Later, Jon read to me all the great welcome notes people “posted to Lucy”:http://lucyboyd.com/guestbook/ — and we both cried. We were so happy to be a family together in the midst of our wonderful community!
Whew! That sure was a lot of work, and boy! wasn’t it worth it? We love Lucy so much we can hardly stand it. Thanks for loving her, too!
Hi friends! Thanks for writing out your Labor story for us to read – on our baby’s due date! We can’t get enough positive natural birth stories as we head into our labor experience within the next 2 weeks. It’s so hard to even imagine what it might be like. We hope it’s as smooth as yours!
Jon, I still have the recording on my answering machine from when you called to announce Lucy’s arrival. It’s super cute. Reading this (and listening to the message again) makes me a little teary. I’m so happy for the three of you.
Kelli: We certainly couldn’t stop thinking about you, Nathan, and the forthcoming Lenz bambino while we were working on this story. Everyone’s experience is different, and we hope yours is awesome!
Deborah: Wow! That’s cool that you have it saved. Next time we’re over there, we totally want to hear it.
Great story…
It was an honor to be a part of Lucy’s labor and delivery! Ann was an awesome laborer and pusher!
I might add that Ann’s noises were noteworthy. The buzzing referred to was later accompanied with quick head shaking, especially on more intense contractions. Worth the price of admission.
I remember being so discouraged when Ann was checked and was only 7.5! She’d been working so hard for so long! I started thinking labor was going to be a lot longer. It felt like there was a despondancy hanging in the room for a bit after that news (maybe it was just me!). But Ann didn’t react like I would have– tears, depression. She handled it well.
Wonderful read! Thank goodness my tubes are tied or I’d probably try to talk my husband into one more. Makes me nostalgic and wanting the experience again.
My birth story isn’t nearly so exciting, but my kids never did want to come out and my health didn’t allow for them to stay in longer.
What an awesome story! Thanks for posting many of the earthy details :)
I love you all so very, very much. Thank you for giving us Lucia to spoil. You (all) are in my heart every moment of every day. This story brings that day back in vivid fashion and I thank you for sharing it with us.
I have to say that you’ve inspired me to reconsider becoming a trained doula. I had looked into it several times, but knew I needed to wait until the kids were enough older to allow me study time. Now I’m printing off all of the requirements, and even ordered a few of the books.
Dora if you have any tips or suggestions, I’d love for you to share them with me. Ann has my email address.
That was a wonderful birth story! Sounds really intense, but also like an ideal birth experience. You’ve inspired me to want to find a doula. I have a midwife and thought that it might be redundant to get a doula, but Dora sounds like she was great for you guys.
I can’t believe I’m going to be giving birth in 6 short months. Aye. Hopefully this one will want to come out on his/her own…
Thank you for sharing your (and Lucy’s) story. It gives me hope that I can hold out and have an unmedicated birth. I can’t believe Lucy’s a year-old already. Thanks for letting us look in at your happy little family!
That is….an unmedicated delivery. Less than 11 weeks to go!
So – I pooped on my nurse during Eli’s birth.
And I also recall praying “Lord have mercy,” over and over sometime in all four of my kids’ births.
Hooray! They’re all out!
Thanks for sharing the birth story in such detail. I may never get the full labor experience, so I really appreciate hearing about it. Ann, you are one amazing woman!
what a beautiful story! Lucy is truly blessed to have such loving parents, just as you must feel truly blessed to have her as your daugther. I always get the warm fuzzies when i visit here.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. I am a people pleaser to the end and with Naomi after every push the DR. and doula gave some helpful suggestions….and after every push I was apologizing because I thought I had not pushed correctly!!!
One thing that was very helpful….perhaps future reference for some of you was to see in a mirror how far I had progressed after each push. I then believed that Naomi would arrive soon. Our doula captured captured those moments on black and white film and they are some of the most powerful pictures that I have.
Each of my birth stories is very different from the other but I dont think that I will ever forget any of them. I think I will have to begin the birth story of “little blessing” the baby I am carrying right now with 10 weeks of modified bed rest….we are three in now and our family has been blessed by all of the help that we have had….this part of the journey is a real part of the safe and healthy delivery of this little one. And this mom is learning ALOT!
I’m so glad Lucy’s birth story can be inspiring to many of you. I love reading it over and over again!
Nicole — I can’t believe how close you are! The littlest Wetzel will be here before you know it!
Anne — you too! And Kindra! Babies, babies everywhere!
ann,
I can’t help but get jealous. I wanted that all so much…but ahh, when the little one stopes thriving and fears of dead babies (doctors and ours) I had to give in. However there will hopefully be a next time and I have taken notes from your story!
ann and jon – great story! I can’t believe you had the presence of mind to take pictures! I pooped on my nurse too. It must be nearly universal.
bkgoodwill, I had a C-section with my first – medically debatable but I didn’t have the courage to debate – it was a real disappointment after all the Lamaze classes and natural birth books (and a lot of labor as well.) BUT I had a normal and drug-free birth with my second, and I’d heartily recommend it over a C-section even despite the pain. I got to bond with my baby right away, and not nearly as much pain after the fact despite a large rip. Here’s hoping God gives you another baby and you get to have a natural birth!
“Presence of mind”? Certainly not in the moment — but we did have presence of mind to pick Dora as a doula, a woman who studied photography! She took three of the pix in this story (and I’ve now fixed my earlier oversight and added photo credits for her). We’re so thankful to have these pictures (and others that aren’t quite so presentable) of this amazing experience.
Ann – thank you for posting this – it is always amazing to hear someone’s birth story, I think. I also think that someday when Lucy has her own baby, she will appreciate the detailed recollection – I ask my mom about her labors and she can remember a lot about all of them (4 kids), but certainly not to this level of detail!
WOW! Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful story! Birth is so individual, but it is certainly a wonder to behold and to experience in whatever form it comes.
(And yes, statistically more women poop and/or pee during pushing than not… gotta make room for baby however we can, right?!!?)
On this mothers day, God bless all the mothers that are and mothers to be…