We had a rough couple of days this weekend, as you probably read from Jon’s “post”:/news/2006/road-warrior/. Lucy is generally not a difficult baby, but this nighttime fussiness thing was starting to put us over the edge. I knew I was feeling pretty anxious about her crying when I realized I wasn’t interested in eating chocolate (a sure sign of distress for me).
But then you all entered the picture. Jon and I have felt so incredibly well-supported by all of you. You have loaned us baby swings, told us stories of your own experiences, brought us meals, offered to spend the night here, bought us groceries — and I can’t tell you how many of you have said, “Anything you need? Just let us know and we’ll take care of it.” When it started to feel like we were running out of ideas and resources, God sent you along to care for us and encourage us. We are so thankful.
Yesterday was a much better day. After making some key decisions and trying to accept Lucy’s fussy feelings, our night went much better. Here are some of our latest tactics:
* If Lucy is fussy only two hours after a feeding, I can just feed her! I kept thinking before that there was no way she was hungry, but maybe she is at the end of the day, and we can help with that. She slept great last night, even without a ride in the car.
* I talked with a lactation consultant who, though meaning to be helpful, stressed me out by telling me that I needed to switch positions on both breasts at each feeding to maximize my milk supply. This made feedings much harder (twice as much latch-on pain = no fun) and I had started to dread feedings. Jon had the brilliant suggestion: “Just relax, forget her advice, and do what you did before — when you enjoyed nursing!” So, I’m back to one position per breast. Even if it isn’t the maximum amount of milk for Lucy, at least I’m not stressed and can enjoy feeding her again. (And we’re not so sure she’s not getting the max anyway.)
* Jon and I have a good pattern of alternating caring for her during nighttime fussiness so at least one of us can sleep. Plus, our newly purchased white-noise machine helps the one not “on call” to block out the sound of her crying. (We originally bought the machine to help Lucy sleep, but there are other uses for it too!)
Yesterday afternoon, Lucy fussed a little bit, so I put her in a “sling”:http://mayawrap.com/ (see photo) which we borrowed from our friend Shonah and took a walk with her. She seemed to like it (I could tell because she took a nap) and getting out of the house made me feel a thousand times better. I could tell things were looking up when I came home and immediately went for a treat from a box of chocolates in our kitchen. I like to think that my chocolate craving served to celebrate our amazing community. (And the fact that I’ve already lost 25 pounds!)
Dear Ann and Jon,
I’m all for getting out of the house! The first few weeks of having a baby can be so isolating; I know Karl and I felt that a lot. I still make sure that I get out of the house at least once a day with Miriam if at all possible, even if for a short walk. I would really encourage you to get to church this week if you haven’t already. Even if you sit in the way back (which I did) and duck out as soon as the service is over (which I also did). It helps to be back with a community that feels familiar when everything else isn’t and gives you a little perspective. Take good care.
Valerie is right! Maddy was in church at 6 days old and said a loud AMEN (okay, she grunted) at the end of someone’s testimony. Just don’t be afraid to tell people not to touch.
Ann I know how frustrating breastfeeding can be, especially if you are getting cracks or sores. One LC I had was great and the other, not so great. Jon is right, do what works for you. Just work at getting that good fatty milk (Hind milk) down. If you are cross cradle then just take the thumb of the hand that you sandwich your breast with and rub down from your arm pit (of the nursing breast) all the way to the nipple. This will also help you completely drain yourself. The more empty you get with each feeding the more you will make. Also If you pump out right after she is done this will tell your body to make more (you can just throw out the extra milk or freeze in case you have a time you need it in the next 3 mo). Drink LOTS of water, sleep and relax as much as you can, eat greens and fresh foods and last but not least picture your Lucy getting big and fat with each suck. The more you think of her the more you will let down. I was not comfortable with many positions either, especially in the first three weeks. But once my nipples healed I was able to develop my feeding positions. Also as she gets stronger and can hold her head it gets TONS easier. If you need someone to help, for free, or just sit with you and encourage your already excilent technique just give me a call. Even at 2am.
Hi Ann – I had sore nipples for a while with Benjamin too. At our nursing class (before birth) they had said “If it hurts, the baby is not latched on properly” well, I learned that is not entirely true. When Benjamin was little, his mouth was so little that he just had a hard time getting enough breast in his mouth to make it not hurt. Also, I had semi-flat nipples that made latching on difficult. All this said, at 3 weeks of age, I felt that breastfeeding was well established and offered him a bottle for the first time – so I know if can be rough in the beginning, but keep in mind that it will get better! You’ll get better at it and Lucy will get better at it, too!
I LOVE hearing how you and Jon take care of Lucy and each other! You two are such great partners.
The first few weeks (months? years? the whole parenting experience?) are definitely about trial and error. It sounds like you’re doing a good job of trying different things and trusting yourself.
Glad to hear you all got some sleep! Massaging the breast baby’s feeding on really does help. I don’t think Mo would get any hind milk if I didn’t. The Mothers Milk tea isn’t the best tasting, but seems to be beneficial for me so far.
Take care and enjoy your little beauty.
Hey Ann!
Deborah pointed me over here and I’m so glad that last night was a good one for you guys. It’s amazing how restorative consolidated sleep is (and you never truly appreciate it until you don’t get it) :)
About breastfeeding — Benjamin was an every 2-hour boy. If he fussed around then, I always offered it to him and he never refused Now he’s about every 3 hours, but in those early weeks, he was nursing all of the time. Which probably explains why he was 13 lbs at 6 weeks (but is 18 lbs at 5 months)…
Glad Lucy likes the sling. For our next baby I want to get a pouch or a ring sling (I have a mei tai, which I love). Definitely get out of the house. It makes a world of difference. Even just a jaunt to the post office or get out the stroller or swing and go window shopping.
We didn’t get to church this week, I think we were napping instead. :) God gives sleep to those he loves!
thanks for all the encouragement about breastfeeding. I think things are definitely improving, and I just keep trying to remember all of you who seem to really enjoy breastfeeding, so I think, “it must get a LOT better than this.” :)
Ann, Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! I have started reading the breastfeeding books to get me “prepared” for when my little Monkey comes, it also said that you are supposed to feed on both sides… I have never seen my Sister-in-Law do this, so I wondered how practical it was. Now hearing Real Life is refreshing! I will also be asking my Dr about suggestions next week at my appointment.
Glad you are getting some better sleep! Hope it continues.
Jon, keep taking care of your girls! You appear to be doing a fine job so far!
Hugs!
Mel AKA Silverfold
Kindra, I just re-read your post and I’m impressed at your feeding Ben every 2 hours! that is intense. No wonder he gained weight so fast! I’m glad to hear he is on a 3 hour schedule now. Did he ever nap in between feedings when he was eating every 2 hours? Was he a very efficient nurser, or did he take an hour to eat like Lucy does?
Melanie, I’m so excited that we’ll all get to meet Baby Silver soon! (hopefully not TOO soon, though — keep up with the bedrest!) I have heard people feeding from both sides and just from one side. I think they recommended that I feed from both sides at the beginning to stimulate milk production. I don’t know if at some point I could switch to one side. I have some friends who fed from one side and they said that basically their breasts just had to adjust to it, and it is a bit weird at the beginning as you are kind of lopsided between feedings for awhile.
And Tysa, thanks for the Mother’s Milk tea suggestion. I’ve been thinking about getting some, especially since I have some Evening Primrose Oil caplets that I need to return to the health food store — we bought them on the evening we went into labor, hoping to encourage Lucy to come out!
Hey Ann – after Benjamin did his second round of cluster feeding (I think around 3 or 4 weeks of age), I only had to feed him on one side at a time because I had so much milk. If I let him nurse both sides he would spit a whole bunch out after because he had eaten too much. When I started pumping for bottles I was getting 7 or 8 oz. from each side, so obviously one was plenty for a baby 3 or 4 weeks old. Until that point though, he needed both sides. And I’ve talked to some moms who always had to do both sides – I think it just depends on how much milk you produce and how much they eat at once. Benjamin ate every 2 hours (during the day) until he was 6 months old or maybe even a little beyond that. Of course, the benefit of that was, he would sleep 10 hours straight at night.
Wow, Nicole! Your milk production sounds super-impressive. I don’t think I’m producing quite that much. It is helpful to hear that you switched to single-sided nursing after a few weeks, I wasn’t sure if that worked. Was Benjamin a pretty efficient nurser? I don’t think I would mind Lucy nursing every 2 hours except that she takes about 45 min to eat. Did you wake Benjamin every 2 hours to eat, or did he call for it?
After he was a few weeks old, he wanted to eat every 2 hours. I don’t think we ever woke him up after he was about 3 weeks old. Also – after he finished the cluster feeding (which is a pain in the butt, by the way), he became much quicker – he would finish nursing in 10 – 15 minutes (in the beginning he was slow like Lucy – taking 45 minutes or more to nurse).