Lucy has been sleeping twelve hours or more each night for the past year or so, so we thought we were pretty much done with “crying it out”:/news/2006/taking-the-plunge/ for her. Well, we were wrong.
Rosie has had great nights of sleep lately, one night even waking for only one feeding. Unfortunately, Lucy woke up about eight times that night — crying, requesting water or a snuggle in the rocking chair, just miserable. After meeting her demands multiple times, we finally realized that we just had to leave Lucy to cry. Nothing that we were doing was actually helping her to go back to sleep anyway. So, between 4:30-6:00 am, we endured Lucy’s screams and then settled in for a 45 minute snooze before “morning” began. Almost incredibly, Rosie slept through this whole episode. Lucy has gone on to cry upon put-down at naptime and bedtime several times in ensuing days — something she hasn’t done in months and months.
p{color:gray}. Photo: This is how long it’s been since Lucy last cried it out: this photo was taken the week she was learning to sleep on her own (in December 2006).
It is heartbreaking to listen to her cries, but the fact is that she has awakened refreshed and happy after each of these trials. It’s extra-hard for Mama to listen to Lucy’s crying these days, since I’m already feeling sad about how life is being shaken up for Lucy. (I had my own cry-it-out time while Lucy had hers this morning.) But I’m trying to remember a few things:
* Lucy is getting a lot of attention these days. It is different from pre-Rosie days, but she is definitely not being neglected. She’s even getting some nice one-on-one Mama-time. I should stop feeling guilty already.
* We couldn’t have done anything more to prepare Lucy for this transition or make it smoother for her. We worked hard for months to help Lucy be ready for these days: “sleepovers”:/news/2008/progress-report/ at Grammie & Grandpa’s to prepare for labor, reading “books”:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0688145094/octothorppres-20 about being a big sister, presents from Rosie, extra time with Mama. There is just no way we could have shielded Lucy from the rockiness that comes with having a new baby in the house.
* Lucy has inner resources that will help her to make this transition. It is still easy for me to want to make everything okay for “my baby,” but Lucy is no longer just a baby. She will be able to rise to this challenge. (She’ll have to be.)
* Things are hard now, but it is really good that Lucy and Rosie have each other. Their sisterhood will help them to grow in ways that they wouldn’t have on their own.
We’re hoping that each night is a little better. We’ll see what this one holds — hopefully sleep for all!
Here’s praying Lucy gives you all a good night’s rest. Kaia was a bit older when Mo came along, but she definitely put all of her 2 year old-ness to work. She became trying for a few weeks while she adjusted. Every child seems to give a hard time during the adjustment, and 2 year olds seem especially good at that.
Lucy has 2 loving parents, and will work it all out soon. (and it’s ok if you need to cry it out with her, I did too a few times)
Oh, Ann. How difficult! I think it must be very painful for an older child to realize that she is no longer the center of the parents’ universe. But it’s a healthy and realistic lesson to learn. I wonder if Abi will ever forgive us for giving her a sibling. That said, I should fairly mention that at least once a day they do something amazingly charming together and I can actually see the bonds of sisterhood forming. I hope this phase passes quickly for you guys.
Thank you ann for the thoughts about how you have done what you could and that she will just have to make the transition. Those are good to remember.