With several friends having recently given birth, I’ve been thinking more about Lucy’s first weeks again. And I’ve realized something: caring for a newborn is like having a language or cultural immersion experience.
Here are some of the parallels I’ve found:
*Say what?* If you move to France, you have to figure out how to speak French. You can try to prepare yourself, perhaps by spending several years studying it in school and practicing with friends. But being immersed in the new language and having a desperate need to communicate is an entirely different experience — sort of like reading lots of books about newborn care and then having to actually figure out why your baby won’t stop crying at 2 am. But after a few months of dedicated concentration, frustration, successes, and some panic, you’ll be able to communicate (most of the time) with your baby (or local Frenchman).
p{color:gray}. Photo: Here Grandpa Boyd subtly (or not) familiarizes Lucy with the Swiss flag.
*Jet Lag.* Often traveling involves new time zones and disoriented sleep patterns. This is probably another proof that “babies are aliens”:/news/2006/babies-are-aliens/, because they do not seem to recognize any earthly time zone. You’ll probably adjust in a few days to the new local time, but it might take a few months of training your baby about the world of night and day. Of course, plane travel also doesn’t usually involve the same hours of intense pain and hard work as labor — but you don’t pick up a new human being in baggage claim, either.
*Identity Check.* For me, going to a new country always reminds me how big our world is — and sometimes that can feel pretty overwhelming. Who am I, tiny American, in this new land? How do I define myself? Motherhood brings on a similar flurry of soul-searching and identity-formation. What does it mean to be a mother? Can I actually do this? Does Baby love me even though she cries? Where does pre-baby me fit into this picture? You’ll carry no passport into this strange new country, other than the identity God has given you.
*Learning Curve.* Every culture has its own quirks, whether driving on the left side of the road, avoiding particular hand-gestures, or traditional foods and dining times. You need to learn how to live in your new setting to function well. Babyland often requires a complex set of skills that you learn on-the-job: breastfeeding, swaddling, diaper-changing, sleep-coaxing. You need to be quick on your feet, ready to train hard, and confident in your ability to catch on — none of which is any easier with post-partum hormones and sleep deprivation than with jet lag, a language barrier, or homesickness.
Having a new baby can bring on quite a bit of culture-shock. But working through the questions and struggles helps you grow as a person, not to mention as a parent. We’re enjoying the plunge!