Lucy is definitely starting to focus more on our faces these days, and every once in a while we get a hint of a smile. Her newfound responsiveness, however minimal, is a welcome addition to her facial vocabulary! But I am glad for these weeks of caring for pre-smile Lucy. I think I’ve learned a lot about love.
It has been a new experience to care for and love someone who can’t give me any positive feedback. Most of the time it doesn’t really matter; Lucy is so cute that you can’t help but love her, even if she would rather look at the venetian blinds than your face. But I can’t claim I’m not looking forward to the day she cracks a big grin when I walk in the door.
This has been really good practice for what I hope will be a long life of loving Lucy unconditionally. When she is two years old and inclined to tantrums, or when she is settled into a non-communicative teenager phase, hopefully I’ll remember the lessons of these weeks and be able to love her no matter what.
It seems to me that it is a pretty important thing for a kid to know that their actions don’t affect a parent’s love. Equally important is the parent’s own emotional security — their ability to not depend on the child’s response to feel good about themselves. This is a pretty tall order at times. Even now, when I know that Lucy’s cries are usually about something non-emotional like “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired,” it is easy to jump to “I’m a good mom” or “I’m a bad mom” depending on how she responds to my soothing or problem-solving techniques.
Hmm… Do you think God is good at parenting — loving unconditionally, being secure in himself? :) I have a lot to learn from him. I’d really like to be like him as a mom, especially so that Lucy can recognize God’s love better. “Oh, God must love me and forgive me easily because I know Mama and Papa do, and how much more awesome is God than them?”
It is my hope that Lucy will feel so loved and cherished in our family that she’ll be free to become the woman God has created her to be. And I hope, too, that God will help me to become more like him so that I can be the best mom for Lucy that I can be.
Thanks for the thoughts. that’s such a positive reason for the first six weeks of non-smiling, non-interactive baby. Almost makes me want another baby so I can “try out” your theory myself. :o) My take on it was that a newborn had a face and an attitude “only a mother could love” so that doting grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and friends could possibly be persuaded sometimes to hand the baby back to the mom and dad. But I like your reason much better. :o)
the rest of your thoughts are bittersweet for me to contemplate. I’ve failed so miserably and so often at displaying unconditional love for my children. And often the times where I do “succeed” at showing love in the midst of discipline and correction, are the times where they refuse to believe or accept that I love them, and they go off in the woods or hole up in their room, wailing or angry, bitter or heartbroken, and my pursuing them drives them further away because they still refuse to accept my love. Which is perhaps unsurprising… since that’s often how I behave with God. sigh.
For her many fans who — I can assure you — unconditionally love the little gumdrop…MORE PHOTOS!