We’ve been mystified by Rosie’s ever-changing sleep patterns for a few months now, but things are starting to take shape: no nap.
Back in the spring and summer, Rosie’s “early-morning wakings”:/news/2010/summer-morning/ drove us (especially Jon) to distraction. She woke regularly for several months, without any chance of falling back asleep, between 5:00 and 5:30, and even as early as 4:22.
p{color:gray}. Photo: Rosie at Buckingham Fountain by the dawn’s early light.
She seemed to wake especially early on weekends, so she and Jon would hit the road to give Lucy and me a couple more hours’ sleep. They used the dawn hours to explore Chicago’s neighborhoods, from far south to the far northwest suburbs, enjoying the feeling of being the only ones out and about. (Just the other day, Jon admitted to missing these driving tours, now that they seem to be history. He really should post about some of the highlights they explored, especially the donut shops.)
Then a few weeks ago, Rosie started to shed her early-bird habit and traded it in for fussy bedtimes: one or two hours (yes, _hours)_ of intermittent cries, pleas for water, requests for potty sits, etc. She then began to climb out of the crib, so “we put together her toddler bed”:http://www.facebook.com/drboyd?v=wall&story_fbid=606299059715&ref=mf — but then she climbed out even more and started weeping to have her “biggie crib” back. Last week, we rebuilt the crib and took down the toddler bed, but Rosie continued to protest for an hour or two at bedtime.
During a recent staycation week, we experimented with skipping Rosie’s afternoon nap on a couple of days — and with surprising success. She did seem a smidge overtired at dinnertime, but those evenings she fell asleep straight away and slept for twelve solid hours. But it was puzzling, because when we tried the nap again (even when beginning it earlier in the day), she slept happily for two hours. Alas, then she went straight back to resisting bedtime until 9:45 pm. My guess is that Rosie would benefit from a 45-minute daily nap, but since she sleeps like a rock in the afternoon, it is quite difficult to rouse her in the middle of her sleep cycle.
So we’re pretty sure the no-nap stage has arrived for our family. (As long as Rosie doesn’t start waking up early again. So far so good.)
In some ways, I’ve been looking forward to the end of Rosie’s napping days. Since Lucy does not need a nap, our midday routines have been a little cramped by the enforced quiet — and I’m not completely happy with the way we’ve required the aid of videos to keep the peace in our tiny bungalow. Our options for daytime fun dramatically increase without a three-hour block of required “home time.” Think of the museums! the errands! the swimming pools! the parties! the baseball games! the visits with friends! There is definitely a lot of fun to be had.
But there is one point I’m having difficulty letting go of: *I had a plan for this year.* I had a fabulous plan that Lucy would go to preschool Monday through Thursday from 12:45-3:15, Rosie would nap, and I would have quiet! Time to work, time to sleep, time to eat bonbons and paint my nails. I’ve been really working to preserve this plan, but it looks like I’ll need to let it go — unless we’re willing to give Rosie a 10 pm bedtime each night (which we’re not).
I am also slightly concerned that Rosie is getting enough sleep on this new regime. (Do two-and-a-half-year-olds really give up their naps? Lucy was three before that settled in for her.) But considering she was getting ten hours plus two hours of nap with her 5:30 am wake-ups, and now she is getting twelve or more, I’m guessing she is fine.
My current question is this: what will become of the shape of our day? It feels like uncharted territory for us. I know that, even though being at home for Rosie’s nap was sometimes inconvenient, I benefited from the down time. This week we’ve been experimenting with “peaceful playtime”: I put the girls in separate rooms, let them listen to their favorite music, and instruct them to play with toys. It has been a good trial. We have probably 45 minutes of quiet play, not completely interruption-free, but I’ve been able to read a couple of chapters in my novel. Even with this little break, however, the afternoon can feel like a lot of time to fill, just something I’m not used to. I want to think carefully about how to restructure our day to include fun, quiet, and enough rest for everyone. Any ideas from seasoned moms?
Thus ends the napping season for Rosalind Hazel Boyd, age 2½. I guess what she always says really is true: “Me no baby. Me big girl!”
Simon napped until he was a solid five (he can still nap and will if he knows he’s tired – and he’s 9 1/2!). I thought that was how every child was…then along came Ana. Ana gave up naps completely at 18 months and I thought I would lose my mind (in fact, I think I did for a time there…). What saved me was those afternoon quiet times. She still had quiet time in her crib, and then later in her big girl bed, most afternoons until she was three years old – or – I can’t remember. Isn’t that the bliss of it all? We forget how tired and crazy we were! She’s 6 1/2 now and sleeps like a dream.
Good luck!
Lisa P.
Benjamin and Ella do still nap (although not everyday), but one thing I’ve learned is that they really do still need to have a bit of a quiet time or down time on the days they don’t nap. Benjamin really only naps one or two days a week now, but if we just go all day long with no break, he becomes a very grumpy, difficult child. So, we do an afternoon quiet time. Sometimes it’s a quiet time in his room (and we have special quiet time toys), sometimes we will play a board game or do some puzzles. Sometimes we even bake together – just so long as it is something that isn’t too active and is quiet (since we do still have Isabelle who needs to nap everyday).
Do you have the “Healthy Sleep Habits” book? It has a chart in the beginning that details out the amount of total daily sleep a child needs by age. I’ve found this to be very helpful in determining what time they need to go to bed or if I need to push for a nap on a given day (if they had a short night’s sleep, for example). I knew that Benjamin was right about average in terms of sleep needs just based on how much he had slept in the past and my observations on his mood vs. how much sleep he got, so I used the 50th percentile line on the graph as my guide.
You could also just track for a couple of weeks the total hours of sleep she gets everyday vs. her mood and come up with your own judgement on how much sleep she needs.
Good luck with your post-nap days – and enjoy the early bedtimes that go with it!
I’m impressed by the early morning adventures. What fun memories for Jon and Rosie!
Corrie’s sleeping has been awful this summer – she’s not napping much anymore either. She only naps if we’ve been out and she falls asleep in the car. Fortunately for me, she transfers well, so i’ve been trying to time errands so that she’s in the car around 12:30 or 1. She falls asleep and I bring her upstairs to get a short nap (an hour if I’m lucky). If we’re home, I enforce quiet time for her in her room – about 45 minutes to an hour. Quiet time was much easier with Evan than Corrie. Evan is more of an introvert, so he enjoys the time alone and uses it to recharge. Corrie – not so much. But I persevere.
No advice here! I hope you’re able to settle into a routine that works well for the whole family. I’m curious what our days will look like now that Evan’s in school all day.
We are also a family of (mostly) non-nappers. And we’re working hard to preserve the rest-time in the middle of the day. You’re right, though, in that the non-nap brings flexibility. I hope you find a way to settle in to a new normal!
we’re afraid that Ephraim, who I believe was born just a week before miss Rosie, is also giving up his nap. Although last week he fell asleep in the middle of our living room floor twice for half an hour of rest, so perhaps he’s not really ready to give his nap up yet. Now if I can just get both boys to nap at the same time!
Hope all is well for you in Chicago!
Funny that you’re writing about Rosie dropping her nap. Over here I’m contemplating the same thing… but for Abby. When Abby naps (which is more often than not still) she is usually up until around 10pm! That’s my personal bedtime goal (working on that too!). God’s grace for me that she’s old enough to entertain herself quietly at night. I’ve been waking her up from naps this week so that we’ll get an earlier bedtime, but we also started MWF preschool this week, so this will be trial and error! Let me know how your new scheduling goes at your house! Isn’t all too soon for our girls to be in preschool?!