Piglet

I’m not entirely sure how legal this is in the city of Chicago, but I have to confess: we have a piglet in our house.

p{color:gray}. Photo: This is the “Baby Piglet.”

For several months now, we’ve been housing and feeding this little piglet, and to tell you the truth, she is very sweet. Every night, she sleeps with her best friend, “Piggy Lou”:/news/2008/have-you-met-my-pig/. In the morning, I often look over near the door of our daughters’ bedroom, and there, curled up on the floor, is our piglet! She especially likes it when I come right over to rub her fuzzy pink skin, scratch her floppy ears, and pat her curly tail. She usually gives a gentle little piglet snort with her tiny snout. Then I ask her, “Would you like some slops this morning, Baby Piglet?” And she invariably replies, “Yes, Mama Pig!” For that is who I am: the Mama Pig.

As the Mama Pig, I delight in serving my baby piglet excellent slops every day. I must say, I’m hoping this piglet will be weaned soon, but in the meantime, I will occasionally allow her to drink milk from my belly button. She will also gobble up slops from my bare hands — I often keep some in my pockets so they are instantly available.

I snuggle up with my little piglet often and read books to her (literacy is a very important value in the porcine community). She goes to piglet school for two mornings a week, where she learns alongside a variety of other animals. And on special occasions, this piglet enjoys dressing up as a piglet princess in her party dress.

As piglets go, this one is particularly tidy, but still, she requires a bath every day. She loves to play in the water and get squeaky clean. After the water is drained from the tub, she wiggles and struggles for a minute — it is difficult for the piglet to get out of the slippery tub with those cloven hooves! We dry her off and wrap her up in a robe, then we all tromp to the living room to tend to her floppy ears. This piglet’s floppy ears must be combed through each night, for they become embedded with sticks, leaves, grass, and mud during her daily romps through the countryside. Then, of course, we use our specialized floppy-ear-dryer to make sure that her ears are nice and dry and warm.

For awhile, this little piglet was going by the name of “Nemmo,” but these days she prefers simply “Baby Piglet.” Our piglet has a special fondness for humans. In fact, if you happen to come over to play with her, you may receive an honorary pig title, as in “the Libby pig” or “the Pete pig.” Trust us when we say this is the highest compliment you can receive in our home.

While I had generally planned on raising two daughters, I’ve decided to embrace the task of raising one piglet and one “puppy-kitten-monster”:/news/2010/happy-new-new/. It certainly does eliminate any need we might have had for a pet in our home!