My friend Keri recently asked me what books (if any) I’m reading again to refresh my thoughts as we anticipate “birthing”:/news/2007/the-labor-story/ another baby. It is nice to not feel like I need to read *all* of them again, so here are the top five that I’m currently plowing through:
p{color:gray}. Photo: Lucy re-reads the classics.
* “_Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth_”:/news/2006/ina-mays-guide-to-childbirth/ One of my very favorites, this has great birth stories and tips for natural childbirth.
* “_Birthing from Within_”:/news/2006/birthing-from-within-by-pam-england-rob-horowitz/ Since we’re not taking a refresher birthing course this time, I’m taking the time to actually do several of the birth-art and reflection activities in this book.
* “_Baby Catcher_”:/news/2006/baby-catcher-by-peggy-vincent/ More inspiring birth stories. (See “Jon’s review”:http://www.jonboyd.org/reviews/000073.php of this book, too.)
* “_On Becoming BabyWise_”:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1932740082/octothorppres-20 I’ve never liked the BabyWise vs. Attachment Parenting battle that seems to rage along with any discussion about this philosophy, but I think BabyWise probably better reflects my parenting thoughts at the moment. Just please don’t fight with me about it. :)
* “_Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child_”:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0449004023/octothorppres-20 Although it took us many months to get there, this was ultimately the most helpful book on sleep for Lucy. (Jon calls the author Weissbluth, “Weisenheimer.” Now you tell me, who’s the weisenheimer?)
I’d love to read some new books, too — especially anything that talks about helping a toddler share a room with an infant (which Lucy and Baby will eventually need to do). But mostly, I’m grateful to be a little more confident this time around. Who knows, maybe I’ll start writing my own book!
I loved Babywise. Just for the concept more than the actual step by step. It really saved us some of the headaches that we had raising Kaia. And I like the idea that children need to learn their place in a family, not believe they are the head of the household.
I hope you enjoy the reading. I always loved reading the maternity books and getting prepared.
I read both Attachment Parenting and Growing Kids God’s way (far more extreme than Babywise)… as well as a dozen others. I have to say I wish I hadn’t. Both of them so strongly cast their parenting styles in moral terms that no matter what I did with my first child I felt like I was sinning against God somehow. I doubted and fretted my way through every single decision and reversed every choice I made, finally ending up about 3/4 in the attachment parenting end of things.
Gradually God has let a little sanity in my life. I’ve realized that I know families in both camps and many other places who are loving, sane, creative and godly. And others in both camps who aren’t. And I had to make different choices with twins, because I couldn’t carry two of them wherever I went, nor was our full-size bed big enough for two parents and a set of twins!
I think any ‘style’ done in love and faith with a heart open to God would have been better than some of my fearful, resentful, wishy-washy attempts to raise the perfect children. But if grace can cover our sins, it can surely cover any parenting mistakes and fears as well. So go in peace. Read your Babywise and don’t feel like you need to personally fight all the battles… and God use our gifts and our sins to his glory such that Lucy and Baby, and my four, will meet in heaven someday!
Amen to that! Heaven, or on a Prentiss Bay beach — whichever comes first. :)
Ann,
What did you ever decide on Santa? I just remember the conversation last year and don’t remember the outcome. Madelyn recognizes him, but doesn’t get the concept yet. I think we will have a gift from Santa though.
A tradition we started last year is we bought the little people nativity set and we wrap the people up and then on Christmas Eve she gets to unwrap it as we go through the story. I am sure it will change a bit each year as she grows in understanding.
As for books, I started reading after your post! I am so busy I didn’t realy realize that we only have 8.5 weeks left before baby girl comes. AHHH. I don’t have anything on sharing rooms, but Parents mag. did an article on it over the summer. I can’t remember if they gave a book list or not, but they did say there were a lot of benifits to siblings sharing rooms. So you might want to scan their web and see if you can find the article. I also was reading about transitioning to toddler beds. We aren’t going to do this until summer, but if you are going to before the baby comes they suggested sooner than latter and actually putting the crib up for a while so she grows attached to the big girl bed and when baby comes she will recognize the cirb is for the baby and not the big girl. But we are doing cribs for each (our new house has stairs and I don’t want to have to put up gates at this point, pluse she is going through a lot of changes right now…so we will wait).
How are you feeling?
Hope you are enjoying Advant
Ann,
We have done the sharing rooms thing- I don’t have any books on it, just our experience (though I guess maybe there’s something in the What to Expect books on this). We moved Miriam to a big girl bed (not a toddler bed, but a regular bed on the floor, only box spring and mattress) shortly after she turned 2 (I think we started doing naps in the big girl bed before this). This was only weeks after Kevin came to us. Kevin stayed in a bassinet with us for around 2 months. By then, Miriam was pretty comfortable in her bed, and Kevin was sleeping more or less through the night. For the next month or so, we sometimes had Kevin in the room with Miriam and sometimes not. Even now, we still keep the playpen in our room both for a place to put Kevin so he won’t crawl down the stairs and let me shower, and so that if he needs a quiet place to sleep and his room isn’t available, he can sleep in our room. All this to say, we didn’t have an all or nothing approach, but an easing into sharing rooms. And they do very well together now, especially since Miriam is a sound sleeper.
I don’t remember any of my kids actually sleeping until they were about 5. (I was way into Attachment Parenting!) So I just piled all 4 in one room on a futon, and kept them in for an hour a day for “quiet time” (which ended up being pretty Danielson Family) and put them back in about 8 every night. I think they had a pretty great time in there, and just knowing they were safe and secure while I read or got something done was good enough for me. Sharing the room will likely make sleep training easier for number 2, when the time comes, because there will be someone to keep her company, and you don’t need to deal with separation anxiety on top of teaching her to settle herself.
Kriss,
Maybe I will put number 2 in with #1 and use the second room for my personal space…that sounds really nice about now!
-katrina
Personal space. That’s a concept! I’m still trying to get that and I live on a 20 acre farm. If you can do it, go for it and make a habit of it now!!!!!