Lucy surprised us the other night by sleeping soundly — and not making a peep! — from about 7:00 pm all through the night till we woke up to the silence around 5:00 am. Was she still breathing? I was so nervous, in fact, that I made Jon go check to make sure. (She was, of course, and hollered a bit to emphasize the point!)
I keep thinking that I’ll stop worrying one of these days. Early in pregnancy, I thought, “Well, once I’m past the first trimester, I won’t worry as much.” Then I was just waiting until I was 28 weeks along to rest easy. Then I figured I’d relax a bit once Lucy was born. And truthfully, I do worry less now that the child is breathing her own air. But the anxieties can come up suddenly and strong — if Lucy has a cold, or if she seems unusually fussy one day, or when she forgets to swallow her Cheerio and tries to breathe it, or…apparently even if she sleeps like a baby.
I was somewhat comforted to note recently that I’m not the only one who can’t shake the parenting worries. On our recent weekend getaway, Porter, age 10, didn’t emerge from his bedroom one morning, though it was getting late. Finally, his mom wondered aloud, “Do you think he is still breathing?” I can totally see myself doing this. It even makes me have more sympathy for my own mom when she insists on getting a call from me a few times a week. (Regular readers may recall Jon’s recent “post on this subject”:/news/2007/white-hair/, too.)
When Lucy is a teenager, I’m sure she’ll be rolling her eyes and saying, “Mo-o-o-m!” when I worry about her. But is there any way to stop? I know Jesus instructs us not to worry, but I think I need some help in this arena. Like, a *lot* of help.
bq.. Making the decision to have a baby is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
— Elizabeth Stone
It’s weird. It gets better in some ways, and in others, you worry and worry and worry…
But the sleep thing — congratulations! Just think — in a couple of years, you’ll think all of this is a dream. Look forward to the time when Lucy will be so knocked out, you can turn her upside down and sideways and she still stay asleep (I marvel at it every time I go in to put Daniel under the covers and have to untwist him from whatever position he’s in. Doesn’t even open his eyes. Wonderful stuff, sleep!)
Ann, I am the same way! We’ve spoken before about the fact that with each new development comes a new thing to worry over. Calling moms of older children have gotten me through some recent battles with Abby over meal times and last night I just remembered Proverbs 3:5-6. Sometimes babies are beyond our understanding (what am I saying – I mean many times!), so trust God with your *heart*.
My dear Ann and Jon and Lucia,
I don’t think that the worry stops with babies. Betty and I know that Ann and Jon and Lisa and Jim are living their own lives (not to even mention Violet and Lucia), doing their own things, coming and going – and not needing our worries for them at all.
BUT, when Ann and Jon and Lisa and Jim and Violet and Lucia are at our home, our minds and hearts shift gear and we are extremely conscious of your whereabouts when heading for our home and then again when you are heading back to your home. Jim and Lisa happily stay with us, but those evenings when they go out to visit old friends, we do NOT sleep the same sleep until we hear them come into the house again. I think it is something called ‘love’.
I assure you that the ‘worries’ will continue for a lifetime to one degree or another, but I suggest that it might be easier to cope with those thoughts if one simply recognizes that the concerns are ‘love’ in action. And I send it to you each and every day…
I think I would win a medal if there was a worrying contest… Try as I might, I can’t stop, and it’s only worsened in some ways since having Benjamin.
However, one thing that helps me is realizing that Ben isn’t really MINE. He is, in that God has given me the unique and wonderful privilege to be his guardian, protector and need-supplier in his infancy & toddlerhood. But he’s not mine. I didn’t create him, I can’t fulfill his every need, particularly as he gets older. He’s made for God’s pleasure and I can trust that God will do what he will with and for Ben because the love that I feel for Ben is a drop in the bucket compared to the love that God has for him (which is hard to fathom, truthfully). I just need to be faithful in parenting him the best that I can and leave the rest to God to protect and care for him…
This all sounds nice and in my better moments I remember this, but unfortunately those better moments are not the norm! I’m working on it though :)
cadence had a runny nose over the weekend, and her eyes started tearing–little teardrops randomly running down her cheeks. so i spent like 2 hours researching on the internet HOW WORRIED i should be as she has never exhibited this symptom w/ a cold previously. it was all for naught, as she doesn’t even have a runny nose any more after only two days of being sick.
i like grandpa boyd’s comment above. i think parental worries to some degree are god-given to ensure the proper well-being of the little ones who depend on us. but life in general sure does take a lot of trust to live.