The other night, while wrestling with sleep, it dawned on me that I don’t have very much “white space” in my days anymore. On any printed page, things always look better if you have some blank space giving your eye room to focus. Without white space, you’re looking at newspaper coupons, the classifieds, or the phone book. So, my life is sort of like that now, except not as ugly.
It has been an exciting challenge to get to a high-functioning point with a baby in the house. Lucy is successfully fed, diapered, and napped every day. The house is relatively clean. I often cook a yummy dinner. Laundry gets done. Our household workload is shared very fairly between me and Jon. I’m increasing my “InterVarsity”:http://www.intervarsity.org/ work time bit by bit. And I even get some time out regularly, by myself or with Jon. So what is the problem?
I guess my point is that efficiency itself can sometimes run a person down. When I multi-task too much — planning lots of errands with Lucy, or racing around during her nap to get projects finished — I miss opportunities to breathe, look at my baby, and smell the air. Even when I’m playing with Lucy, I can get a bit too focused on talking with her or “encouraging her development.” I’m always glad to get things done, but it is taxing to feel like every moment needs to be squeezed for all its worth. Even fun outings can feel like a task (“Okay, you’d better have lots of fun! Right now!”) or a date can feel high-pressure (“Must have intense emotional connection immediately!”). No wonder sleep is sometimes elusive — who can fall asleep with a drill sergeant barking at you, “Sleep! Now is the time to sleep!” Sir! Yes, sir!
Lately, Lucy has been requesting a new form of relaxation, and it’s been helping me out. When she is getting a bit cranky pre-naptime, but isn’t sleepy enough to drift off yet, she likes to sit outside with me. If it is nice out, we might go for a walk. If it is hot or rainy, we can just sit on the front porch and watch the world go by. I’m really glad Lucy has been liking these moments lately, as it helps me to stop racing and just be. It is nice to just sit with her and remember that I’m a human being.
Thanks to Lucy for reminding me that being together is almost always more important than being efficient. I hope I can remember this whenever I’m tempted to re-organize our Tupperware and plan meals for the week simultaneously. :)
Planning a wedding makes you feel the same way (to some extent). =) Thanks for the good reminder to slow down and enjoy every once in a while. =)
Loved this entry – AMEN! And you look fabulous!!!
You know, I was just thinking about the same thing with Abby. I was thinking how tiring it is to think of new and exciting things to entertain her. We go through a few standbys like “head, shoulders, knees and toes” (though she can’t reach her toes unless they are brought to her) and making silly noises. Your entry is just the thing – enjoying the quiet of their exploration and observations!
Also, if I can throw out a book rec… “things to do with toddlers and two’s” is GREAT! I was going crazy earlier this summer with my son – just out of fresh ideas… even just *being* was starting to get old (hahaha!). It has loads of ideas that you can start doing when your younster is quite a biut younger and will get more out of observing the stuff you’re doing – and many things are home-made or extremely economical and FUN!
That looks like a great book! thanks for the recommendation!
Ann,
What a great reminder – after 27 months with Claire, I still struggle with the same thing. The amount of stuff you can do around the house is literally never-ending. :)
Are you and Lucy up for a daytime visit by 3 Daos in the not-too-distant future? We’d love to see you both in person.
Jen
Hi Jen! thanks for stopping by. Yes, we’d love to see the three Daos! send me an email and we’ll plan it — ann [at] boydnest [dot] org