After spending a few weeks watching movies about Santa (like “_Elf_”:http://imdb.com/title/tt0319343/ and “_Miracle on 34th Street_”:http://imdb.com/title/tt0039628/) — movies where the good guys are the ones who really believe — I am feeling the weight of this question more. Do we believe, or don’t we? And what do we tell Lucy?
Jon and I both grew up believing in Santa without too many ill effects, although I distinctly remember having the “there’s not really a Santa, is there?” conversation with my parents at age seven and being annoyed that they wouldn’t give me a straight answer. When I got serious about my Christian faith in college, I pretty much decided that I wouldn’t “do Santa” when I had my own kids — it distracted from Jesus being “the Reason for the Season” — and as the Church Lady pointed out on Saturday Night Live, have you noticed that you can rearrange Santa’s name to be “Satan”? (It was so easy to see things in black-and-white when I was nineteen!)
p{color:gray}. Photo: So many Christmas traditions, like cookie baking! This year Lucy helped out Mama and our friend Keri making homemade oreos.
But now that I am old and wise and matronly (ha!), I’m revisiting the question. Obviously, it is nearly impossible to escape Santa Claus in our culture, but is that such an unpleasant fate? Santa personifies generosity, good-will, and love for children. He’s cute and friendly and his tummy is like a bowl full of jelly. Who can resist the magic of leaving cookies and milk for him (and carrots for the reindeer)?
However, I really am bothered by the deception involved. Is there a way to enjoy the legend but also speak in a truthful way? Perhaps I am naïve, but I don’t see any other instances where I’d want to lie to Lucy. I can see the need for simplifying complex questions or smoothing over hairy situations, but saying, “Santa is coming down the chimney tonight” just doesn’t seem worth it. We’re not going to tell her that the stork brings babies — why not be truthful about the beautiful story of Santa?
I’m also conscious that we’ll be telling Lucy the story of Jesus’ birth at the same time — a story which is historically true. Won’t it be confusing to learn about both Jesus and Santa, and then to discover that one is true and the other a myth? But will Lucy feel robbed of Christmas joy if she never experiences the wonder of imagining Santa coming into her own home?
Most likely, I’m over-analyzing this question and its potential impact on Lucy’s life. But Jon and I want to be as thoughtful as possible in shaping Lucy’s childhood. In any case, our hope is that Lucy would experience the great love of God and of her family every Christmas season. And so far, that’s been easy at her first Christmas!
We too have be questioning what we will do. We are doing a version of Santa. God sees and knows all and he tells santa if we are good or bad and then santa delivers a gift for God. At least this is the jest of it and we might work on it a bit…have a year to do so.
I don’t want to lie, nor be that “christian family” that has no fun and ruins it for ever other child because Maddy tells them it is a lie. We feel we can do the God and santa thing and then gently tell her later it is a tradition americans have and it is for fun.
But like I said we have a year to really decide and so it might change!
We haven’t really decided yet either. Right now Benjamin (at 18 months) just gets presents and they are from people (Grandma, Mommy, etc.), but I don’t think he even really gets that yet, but probably by next year we would need to make a decision. My family never did Santa and I never remember having a problem with it. Of course, most of my friends before attending school were at the same church as us, so it’s possible none of them did Santa either so there was no “spoiling” it for the others. We celebrated Christmas as Jesus’ birthday – even had a birthday cake when we were really little. Anyway – I never felt that I missed out on “Christmas joy” there were way too many fun things associated with Christmas even without Santa.
One fun thing that my parents did, that I intent to continue with our children is that they would never put names on the presents. They would put codes on them (different each year) so that when the 4 kids got up on Christmas we could look at the presents and try and guess which ones were ours, but we really had no idea… One year they put codes on the gifts that turned out to mean nothing – they had actually wrapped each person’s gifts in specific wrapping paper. Anyway – that’s what I remember as being one of the most fun things about Christmas from my childhood.
Just my random thoughts – like I said, we haven’t made a Santa decision, but I did not feel my childhood Christmases to be at all lacking without Santa.
One of my favorite Christmas memories is a Santa memory: My father and grandfather always took my brother and me downtown Chicago to see the Christmas lights on Michigan Avenue. One year (I must have been five or six), we got back from that big outing already all excited by the festivities, when my mother and grandmother greeted us full of excitement of their own. “You just missed him! Santa was just here! He stayed a few minutes but then said he couldn’t wait any longer, since we didn’t know when you’d be back.” Maybe our eyes filled with wonder, or maybe we were just old enough to look a bit incredulous — because then they clinched the deal: “Look: there’s his cup of cocoa on the table….” And there it was, half drunk and _still steaming._ It was that little wisp of steam that really convinced me, somehow. How could Santa not have just been here? His cocoa was still hot.
I don’t think I ever really believed in Santa, but my memories of Christmas are still magical – the mangers, the twinkling lights, the presents, the candles at church, the Christmas carols. It was not hard for me and Daniel to decide to simply tell our kids that Santa was not real — but a lot of fun anyways.
My older two kids are complete realists and after I told them Santa wasn’t real, they wouldn’t stand for any of the nonsense about “this present’s from Santa” or “tell Santa what you’d like” – for whatever reasons, healthy or unhealthy, they didn’t and don’t want to play the game. Which doesn’t bother us at all.
This year was the first year I doubted the wisdom of debunking Santa. It was the church after-school program that first mentioned that Santa didn’t exist but that Jesus was real. The question resurfaced at school in Chickie’s first-grade class during lunch and recess, and all the teachers, including those who are super-involved in our church, reassured all the kids that Santa was real… or gave ambiguous answers. Chickie was furious and bewildered and betrayed. It was only her and one other child (whose beliefs are VERY strict anti-Santa, Santa distracts from the true meaning of Christmas and is therefore BAD) who were on the “Santa is not real” side.
It was a matter of Truth to her, and it sure was confusing to counsel her on how to behave. Should I counsel her to stand up for the unpopular truth, as (I hope and fear) she will have to do her entire life… and have her become the killjoy who spoils it (if she hasn’t already) for the other kids in class? Or do I try to explain the difference between myths and lies…. to a first and second grader, my son having involved himself in our discussions? I sure don’t know.
I’ve gone the “myths as vs. lies” route so far, but my kids are so black and white about what is truth that they just want to know the bottom line… so I fear they will end up being the killjoys, or as bkgoodwill says above “that “christian family†that has no fun and ruins it for ever other child.” Alas!
I want to write a big musical thing for church (the youth program this year was confusing and disjointed) saying essentially “who cares if Santa is real” and then talking about all the wonderful things that ARE true about Christmas, from Jesus to presents to a star in the sky to twinkling lights. But then I ask, is that really the message I want to convey, that Truth (as Chickie and BigE see it) isn’t important? I confess I don’t know.
Completely irrelevant side note – while I knew early on that Santa wasn’t real, it took me until High School to realize that the Little Drummer Boy was a myth! He fooled me because he was on the manger side of things instead of the sleigh. :o)
We came upon the same question, just different circumstances, at the summer camp my office ran. The kids would ask “are the fairies real?” Some counselors made what we considered a big mistake. Yes of course they are real. The idea of Santa and fairies isn’t meant to be a real or not real thing, but do you choose to believe and are they part of the fun. So we talk about Santa in our house, but the first time the question is asked “is there really a santa?” The answer will be: I choose to believe in him because it makes the holidays fun. Santa is part of the Christmas spirit. That doesn’t distract from the message that Christmas is a time when most of the world stop to consider the birth of Jesus.