I generally consider myself to be a pretty easy-going person. It usually takes quite a bit to get me really angry. But my inner rage erupts out of nowhere when Lucy’s nap gets interrupted.
I noticed this the other day when our truly wonderful UPS deliveryman, Cesar, happened to ring the doorbell at the 45-minute mark of Lucy’s morning nap — right when she is most susceptible to being awakened. Lucy usually sleeps for about two hours in the morning, but the vigorously-sounded doorbell disturbed her this day. She awoke crying, and I spent 20 minutes trying to help her fall asleep again, and then another 30 minutes or so expressing my extreme frustration at our loud doorbell and insisting that we start putting up a “please knock” sign when Lucy is sleeping.
p{color:gray}. Photo: It’s counter-intuitive, but this goes on the door when Lucy’s napping now: even loud knocking is quieter than the doorbell.
I’d like to think that I just want Lucy to have the sleep she needs. But I know that part of my frustration is due to the fact that Lucy’s nap time is Mama’s time to do laundry, work, and occasionally relax. Lucy’s naps feel really valuable — there are some things that I can do only when she is sleeping. And while this makes perfect sense, I don’t like the fact that I sometimes feel miserly with this time, hoarding it like a troll.
And then there is the lack of control. There is only so much I or anyone else can do to help Lucy sleep (or prevent her from sleeping). It is easy for me to start blaming myself or others when Lucy’s nap is cut short. “Why were you walking around so loudly?” I’ve cursed our poor squeaky “wooden floors”:http://boydsnest.org/news/2006/bunny-cide/ often in such moments.
I know that naps will have new challenges in the future. One day, our sweet darling baby girl might possibly become willful and begin to resist her naps, fighting me and trying to climb out of her crib. Right now, it is easy to diffuse my anger by taking one look at Lucy’s tear-stained but smiling face. “She can’t help it, she’s a baby!” But how will I respond when she *can* help it? I hope with more grace and patience than I exhibit sometimes these days!
So how can I cultivate generosity in this area? In my best moments, I go with the flow, trying to “receive the day,” as my spiritual director says. I say to myself, “The main goal is for Lucy to wake up happy and rested, no matter how long her nap is.” I suppose those unexpected sleep interruptions are one of the tools God is using to shape me into a better person. I’ll have to keep praying for the “fruits of the Spirit”:http://boydsnest.org/news/2006/what-we-want/ to be grown in my life and keep opening myself up for pruning and trimming.
We have a sign for our door too, for when Benjamin is sleeping. Since our neighborhood is fairly new, we get a lot of solicitors trying to sell things. Anyway – the doorbell doesn’t seem to bother him, however, once the doorbell rings, our dogs go nuts barking and after that, he’s done napping. So, we have a sign that says “No soliciting. Sleeping baby. Do not knock or ring bell. Thanks!” That way no dogs bark, I don’t get bothered by someone trying to sell me something and Benjamin gets his nap.
I actually learned to make naptime as noisy as possible for my kids. That way no doorbell, dog, or category 4 hurricane will wake them. (not that a hurricane will happen here, but you never know when we’ll have another earthquake or St. Helens will blow again) Of course this only works if from the start you have a noisy household during nap time. I use naptime to vaccuum, workout… Kaia actually slept at the drag strip! Now that’s a noisy place. Give it a try with the next child. I started putting Mo down for a nap in with the tv so he got used to having noise that wasn’t constant. The phone is in there too, and if the ringing happens to wake him he goes right back down (happened this morning actually). We have a noisy house. When we’ve looked to adopt a new pet the first thing we look for is one that isn’t timid and scared of noise.
It’s not selfish to want that time for yourself either. Baby needs the nap, and you need the break. it’s that simple!
cadence actually asks for her naps. we’ve worked hard to make sleeptime pleasant for her so that she won’t resist it. although there are days when she’ll only get barely an hour’s nap, those days are far fewer than the norm of at least one long nap or two 75 minute naps. we’ve given her a lot of leeway as to WHEN she goes to sleep, and i think that’s why we haven’t had to resort to a power struggle in this area. she’s learned that going to sleep when she is tired is much better than staying awake and cranky, and since we don’t push her either way, she doesn’t resist going to sleep.
i think it’s natural for parents to be protective of their babies’ sleep time, as sleep is so important for little ones’ growth and development, not to mention mom and dad’s sanity. i think as long as you don’t let lucy sense your frustration when these interruptions happen, she’ll think it’s no big deal and just go back to sleep or wake up if she’s ready to play again.
we have a really loud buzzer too, and those UPS/FedEx/postal deliveries always seem to happen during naptime! i suppose if i didn’t do so much of my shopping online, this wouldn’t be such a problem…