Must-have hardware

Since Ann has written about “labor tricks that worked”:/news/2006/labor-tricks-that-worked-and-didnt/, I figure maybe I should post about some of the “hardware” we’re most glad to have in the house these days. The baby-commerce industry is massive and “strange”:/news/2006/what-would-lennon-say/, and we’ve found the best tools aren’t necessarily what we would have predicted.

These days we’re living life in three-hour blocks around the clock, which can exert a powerful reality-distortion field. The following items are kryptonite against insanity.

*1. The birth ball*

This is really just a pilates-exercise ball, and we originally got it to help with what “Allison”:http://www.practicallyparents.com/ calls OFP(Optimal Fetal Positioning) and for laboring (where Ann did indeed find it very helpful). During the third trimester Ann liked it so much it became her default office chair. But now it’s my baby bouncer, and I can’t imagine these nights without it. Turns out Lucy very often wants to be bounced, and bounced longer and more vigorously than this middle-aged white-collar American is capable of delivering by upper-body strength alone. But with the Ball, I can sit and bounce much more efficiently. Lucy loves it.

*2. The car seat*

Safety device? Schmafety device! I don’t care whether this thing ever saves Lucy’s life in an auto accident (well, actually I do) — but I love it already, because she loves it. Strapped in or just sitting, stationary or swinging, in the house or “on the road”:/news/2006/road-warrior/, Lucy generally appreciates her mango-and-gunmetal infant seat by Combi more than any other chair she’s got. It fits into a companion stroller easily, so we’ve wheeled her around both in the seat and just loose in the stroller.

*3. The BabyBjörn*

The gimmicky one-word-with-internal-capital branding (plus an umlaut thrown in!) is more than a little cheesy, but who cares? I’ll take it: LucyBöyd settles into this belly-strapped baby carrier comfortably. The last couple days, she seems to fuss a little at the beginning, before letting herself admit that she really does like it a whole lot — and then instantly falls asleep. PapaBëar likes it because:
* he can kiss the top of LucyBöyd’s head easily
* it would be virtually impossible to drop her (something SleepyDäd worries about sometimes)
* it gives him two FreeÄrms at all times
* it feels extra ComfyCösy somehow to carry her this way (maybe it’s just the absence of muscle cramping)

*4. The noise machine*

My colleague Stan has a white-noise machine he travels with to conferences when he’s not sure his roommate will refrain from snoring — and I always try to room with him so I can be soothed by it’s “gentle rainfall” or “quiet brook” settings too. (For that, plus the cigars he always brings along.) I’ve been meaning to “order one”:http://www.cvs.com/CVSApp/cvs/gateway/detail?prodid=332290 for years, and finally got around to it. I wouldn’t swear yet whether Lucy is calmed by it, but it certainly makes it easier for us to tune out other sounds.

*5. The sleep positioner*

This was an unexpected one for us: a slightly inclined wedge of soft foam with two velcroed bumpers on the sides. We hadn’t either registered for or bought one ourselves, but a friend passed along an extra they had, and it’s been great. The bumpers seem to give Lucy a pleasant feeling of containment, the incline keeps her from scootching down into her swaddling, and the “memory” foam prevents plagiocephaly (“flat head”). Seriously, the manufacturer claims that. I know I’m relieved.

*6. Swaddling cloths*

Boy, these are hard to get right. We have several “receiving blankets” we hoped would be good for swaddling, and Ann even made some out of old flannel sheets — but getting the size and aspect ratio just right seems to be tricky. We’ve got two that are our “go to” swaddles: one with blue flowers (see “photo”:/news/2006/road-warrior/) on loan from a friend and another hospital-issue one that found its way home with us. I won’t bother to give you the measurements, because even these two are different. Scientists can’t explain it: some swaddles were simply left behind by an ancient civilization of aliens. These are the only ones that work to this day.

*7. The camera*

I’ve already “commented”:/news/2006/camera-ready/ about our new Canon S2 camera — and you’ve seen “the results”:/news/choice-photos/ — so I won’t belabor the point. But must say I’m so thankful for a good tool well designed that’s helping us record impressions of our little one that I know we’ll enjoy for decades.

*In conclusion*

One disclaimer here. This list is obviously from a Papa’s-eye view. Ann’s list of needed purchases would include Soothies, Lansinoh, the Maya Wrap, and good nursing bras. Plus, only she could referee a to-the-death Anna vs. Boppy face-off. So take my “seven wonders” for what they’re worth.

Finally, the underlying principle here is that I appreciate these things because (in most cases) Lucy herself seems to. And another child could — indeed, almost certainly _would_ — have different preferences. This theme has emerged powerfully in the comments left by visitors here: that different babies simply prefer different things. I love reading about how even “two twins”:/news/2006/to-pacify-or-not-to-pacify/#comment-187 demand different calming techniques. One of the most important things we’re trying to do these days, therefore, is simply be attentive and watch: What does Lucy seem to like? How does she telegraph her feelings? What makes a difference for her? We’ve become Lucyologists.