I went for my two-week post-delivery appointment with Jenny the Midwife on Monday. She says everything looks good! I was glad to have the chance to ask her a few questions about my labor experience, especially since this is the last time we are seeing her. (She has decided to go to law school at Michigan, and I had the honor of being one of her final deliveries.)
Since I’ve been thinking more about labor, I thought I’d list a few of the tricks I read about that actually worked. During the pregnancy, I had written a three-page list of tricks to use, but I only needed to use a few of them, I think because a) you get really spacey during labor, and b) I was fortunate to have a comparatively short labor. But here goes:
*1. Buzzing Lips*
During early labor (when we were still at home), when contractions started to get intense enough that I couldn’t ignore them, I made “raspberries” with my lips. “Ina May Gaskin”:http://boydsnest.org/news/2006/ina-mays-guide-to-childbirth/ recommends this to help you relax your muscles. This is actually a good warm-up for singing too, for the same reason.
What didn’t work: actually singing. I thought I might sing (thinking that I would be able to relax the rest of my muscles in the same way), but I never even thought about doing it.
*2. Concentrate on relaxing during a contraction*
During the whole labor experience, I tried to concentrate on relaxing all of my muscles as much as possible during contractions. (In between contractions it was quite easy to relax.) The idea is that each contraction is helping to stretch out your cervix, and if you can relax it helps the contraction to do its job. It really helped to have people rubbing my back (I was having some back labor since Lucy was facing forward) and also to have them remind me constantly to relax my face, shoulders, and anywhere else they could see tension.
What didn’t work: getting in the shower to relax. I was in there for only a few contractions, and it didn’t relax me like I thought it would. (Jon also reports that this was his unfavorite stretch of labor, since he joined me and never got enough of the hot water to stay warm.) I much preferred leaning on the birth ball, for instance.
*3. Making low moaning sounds*
Ina May also recommends this technique. It is good to make noise, especially low noise. If your moans start rising in pitch, it raises your tension and anxiety (sort of like screaming does). Soon after arriving at the hospital, the buzzing lips technique wasn’t enough to handle the intensity of the contractions, so I started making low sounds. Our friend Dora got a whole contraction on video at one point, and it is really funny (now, at least!). I sound (and look) like someone pretending to be in labor, it is all so exaggerated. But it definitely helped. I remember thinking near the end of labor, “After this is done, I don’t ever want to hear this note again.”
What didn’t work: listening to music. It turns out that the room didn’t have the stereo hookup for our iPod we expected — but I don’t think I would have wanted to listen to music anyway.
*4. Asking for what I needed*
I wasn’t inhibited about asking for things during labor (like something to drink, or rubbing my back in a particular way). I remember trying to be polite and saying “thank you” to people. Everyone was really nice to me and I kept crying about how friendly they were, in between contractions.
What didn’t work: swearing. Most people recommend feeling free to curse like a sailor during labor, but I only swore once (and only Jon understood it — it was very long and drawn out). It didn’t help the pain at all, so I decided it wasn’t worth it.
*5. Pushing as if you are trying to poop*
Sorry to describe that so crassly, but everyone says this is how you are supposed to push, and I took their word for it. Jenny says I “pushed like a rock star.” By the time I was ready to push, I just wanted the whole thing to be over with, so I pushed as hard as I possibly could. Hence, I got little bruises (“petechiae”) all over my face, but they were worth it, even if it saved me only fifteen minutes!
What didn’t work: waiting for “the urge to push.” I asked Jenny about this later, and she said that first-time moms often don’t feel the urge to push unless they wait for awhile. But I’m so glad she encouraged me to push when I did.
That’s all I can remember right now! We’ll see what other tips I can come up with as Jon and I finish writing “the Labor Story.”
I absolutely love reading labor stories, techniques, suggestions, reflections. And yours is no exception. It sounds like we had very similar experiences. However, my urge to push was so strong, I told the midwife she better tell me I was at 10 cm, because if not, I was going to ‘disobey’ her and push anyway! Congratulations on birthing your baby and being satisfied! Will you publish the Labor Story here?
Ann,
Wow, time flys! After two weeks you will feel like lucy has always been with you. I just visited my obgyn yesterday for my last follow up (I had several because I am on some drugs that she had to keep a close eye on). I was sad to say good bye to her. :(
Maddy has her own xanga. You should check it out! http://www.xanga.com/maddylou
-k
I have to second Kelli’s (earlier) praise for your blog. If it is okay with you, I would love to share it with some of my clients who are still waiting for their respective babies to arrive. So many of the questions you ask are questions they will also be revisiting – yes, no matter how many books they read or didn’t… no matter how many people have given advice for better or worse… and even if they have already had one or more children!!! Your personal search here might be loads of help for others on the path, long after class has ended and they are testing their parenting wings in earnest. Let me know if I can pass it along… if not I completely understand. : )
OH! And did you ever ice those cupcakes? I have been wondering and wondering.
Hey Ann,
Can we do Sunday night this week? I’ll email you!
Deb
(I was served iced cupcakes when I visited two weekends ago.)
Hey Ann I was re-reading some info on Breastfeeding last night and thought of you. I know you know this but thought I would write you anyway. The breast milk has three kinds. The first (first 8 mins) is loaded with calories and lactose that satisfy the thirst. The second (8-13 mins) and third (13 – on) are the more fatty which help baby gain weight. This book recommends not switching breast in a feed, but rather letting your baby really get the fatty milk. I had not remember reading that but because I am a huge cow I have never given maddy both sides on one feeding and she doubled her weight in two months (usally takes 5). Just thought you might want to try that if Lucy isn’t gaining as much as you would like. The secrets of the baby wisper talks a little about this to in the section on “E”.
We are trying to get maddy on a better sleep sched. because in 28 days there will not be child care, just the two of us and a huge work sched. So I am going back through a lot of books to see what works for our life style. I am finding that although I hate the “luv” and other slang the baby whisper method is working well for Maddy’s personality. I think the best this is learning how to read her body language to know when she is getting tired.
So there are my thoughts. We no longer have a TV, so I am finding that I am on xanga’s and books. Sorry if I give my 2 cents too much!!
-katrina
Allison — Nathan is both observant and correct in his deduction: the iced cupcakes he ate were indeed the fabled pre-labor project. It wasn’t until after we got home from the hospital, though, that Ann whipped up a grandma-licious batch of butter frosting and we thawed out the ‘cakes. (Ann somewhere got the idea that I am the King of Frosting Distribution, so she always begs me to do the actual spreading.) We had two kinds of cupcakes, butter/vanilla and super-dark chocolate, and two kinds of icing, white butter frosting and a dark chocolate ganache — so I could make them all part chocolate, part vanilla. Yummy enough to eat.
Now you know just about everything there is to know about the Famous Cupcake Project — oh, except one last thing: there are still two cupcakes in the freezer, awaiting their turn….
Jon is, indeed, the King of Frosting Distribution. Even coverage, smooth surface = yummy treat. You’ll have to ask him if he does private parties. :)
Keri, super-interesting about your urge to push! Jenny said that if we had waited, I would have felt the urge to push after awhile. Who knows? I’m just glad the baby is out now! :) I think it would be fun to publish the Labor Story here. We’ll also have an in-house copy, complete with photos, that people could look at when they are over here. But I don’t want to publish the photos online, due to lack of clothing.
Allison (and anyone else), you are totally welcome to send the link to this site to anyone! We are honored that people are reading our story, and if this site can be helpful to anyone else, that’s a bonus!
Katrina, I love your two cents! And I enjoy the ideas from Baby Whisperer — it hasn’t all worked like a charm for Lucy, but I think she is still pretty young and adjusting to life out here. But I think I’m starting to be able to read her “sleepy” signs. I’ll have to read the part about eating again. That is helpful info about the hindmilk. Lucy typically nurses for about 20 min on each side, so hopefully she is really draining each breast and getting hindmilk from both sides. I’ll ask my pediatrician on Monday when we see him, though.
Just to clarify: only Ann and Lucy were experiencing a lack of clothing during labor. The rest of us were decent.
Papa Bear is so funny!!!