<\/p>\nTomorrow is a big day for us: it’s the first night Lucy will be put down for bed by a babysitter — admittedly, a _fabulous_ babysitter, but still: a babysitter. I have total confidence that Allie and Lucy will both do really well. I’m much more worried about myself. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
p{color:gray}. Photo: Lucy can ride on Papa’s shoulders now…<\/p>\n
I don’t know why this has become such a big deal in my mind. I’ve had trouble sleeping this week, partially due to anxiety about tomorrow evening (and partially due to worrying about Lucy going off to kindergarten — I can get wacky in the wee hours). My mom gave us a gift that allowed us to buy tickets to the opera, which we’ve been wanting to do for years. Jon and I have been looking forward to this date for months!<\/p>\n
But I also want to be home with our girl! I’ve been cherishing Lucy’s waking hours a lot these days, especially since I don’t get to see her in the middle of the night anymore, amazing sleeper that she is. As we’ve journeyed and grieved with Jane, Andy, and “Ramona”:http:\/\/ramonamae.com\/ these past few weeks, I’ve realized more and more how much I love Lucy and how precious she is to me. It’s amazing how sorrow can intensify thankfulness.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
p{color:gray}. …and remove his glasses without warning!<\/p>\n
Part of me (the insane part) sometimes wishes for those snuggly 5 am feeds again — but Lucy doesn’t need them, she just wants to get some sleep! I want to support Lucy in all the ways she is growing up and becoming more independent: crawling, falling asleep by herself, soothing herself after a minor tumble. It’s just a little hard for me to let go sometimes, and probably will be for the rest of my life. I’m willing to work at it and give Lucy the space she needs, but I’ll probably cry and have insomnia all the while. <\/p>\n
I’ve been remembering lately that our cousin Violet was adopted by Jim and Lisa when she was ten months old — Lucy’s age right now. Violet is doing so well (now 2 1\/2 years old), and we love her so much. And I am humbled by the fact that Lucy would probably adjust well in a similar situation, if handed over to other parents. I must say, this really messes with my mommy-brain!<\/p>\n
But in the grand scheme of things, this is a good problem to have: if Lucy *wouldn’t* go to sleep on her own, or in someone else’s care, I know I’d be frustrated by that! Lucy is ready for this big step, Allie has all of the skill I could possibly wish for in a babysitter, and I’ve got a hot date. So, I’m just going to put on some lipstick, drink a glass of wine, and watch fat people sing really loud!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tomorrow is a big day for us: it’s the first night Lucy will be put down for bed by a babysitter — admittedly, a _fabulous_ babysitter, but still: a babysitter. I have total confidence that Allie and Lucy will both do really well. I’m much more worried about myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1016","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kids"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1016","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1016"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1016\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1016"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1016"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/boydsnest.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1016"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}