Six proofs that babies are not actually humans:
# They’re capable of manufacturing Limburger cheese in the folds of their necks
# Their heads are over half the size of their bodies
# They don’t catch yawns from other humans (though we catch yawns from them; see photo, which makes me yawn just looking at it)
# It’s considered normal when their eyes change color and their hair falls out
# Like cats, they sleep two-thirds of the day
# Their poop is bright green
What other evidence have I forgotten?