Comments on: The best possible motive http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/ All Boyds, all the time. Fri, 04 May 2012 20:07:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Nicole Harlow http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/comment-page-1/#comment-6417 Nicole Harlow Thu, 04 Feb 2010 20:26:40 +0000 http://boydsnest.org/news/?p=4944#comment-6417 That really is such a good lesson to learn. It makes me much more relaxed as a parent when I look at things from the perspective that they are children doing normal child things vs. trying to make me crazy! I had Benjamin's preschool conference today and the teacher told me that they've had to work a little bit on him following instructions. She said it wasn't that he didn't listen - it was that he was so busy thinking of how to do something, that he didn't always follow the given instructions. So she would say to him "Benjamin, the instructions are.... you can choose to follow the instructions or not" and he would then choose to follow the instructions. Her comment was, while this can be a frustrating thing for a parent - to have a child coming up with their own way to do things, it's actually a wonderful skill and means he's likely to be able to lead others eventually because he'll be the one coming up with the plan of action. I thought that was such a positive way to spin something that could easily be taken as him just not listening. That really is such a good lesson to learn. It makes me much more relaxed as a parent when I look at things from the perspective that they are children doing normal child things vs. trying to make me crazy! I had Benjamin’s preschool conference today and the teacher told me that they’ve had to work a little bit on him following instructions. She said it wasn’t that he didn’t listen – it was that he was so busy thinking of how to do something, that he didn’t always follow the given instructions. So she would say to him “Benjamin, the instructions are…. you can choose to follow the instructions or not” and he would then choose to follow the instructions.

Her comment was, while this can be a frustrating thing for a parent – to have a child coming up with their own way to do things, it’s actually a wonderful skill and means he’s likely to be able to lead others eventually because he’ll be the one coming up with the plan of action. I thought that was such a positive way to spin something that could easily be taken as him just not listening.

]]> By: Grandpa http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/comment-page-1/#comment-6416 Grandpa Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:09:44 +0000 http://boydsnest.org/news/?p=4944#comment-6416 What a lovely piece of writing. What a lovely piece of parenting. We are so fortunate to have our granddaughters growing up in such a loving home. (But they better not drop any plates while I'm napping!) I send you my love... What a lovely piece of writing. What a lovely piece of parenting. We are so fortunate to have our granddaughters growing up in such a loving home. (But they better not drop any plates while I’m napping!) I send you my love…

]]> By: Jon http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/comment-page-1/#comment-6415 Jon Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:09:10 +0000 http://boydsnest.org/news/?p=4944#comment-6415 Caroline: See the "Reviews" section here at Boyds' Nest News for notes on a couple dozen books that (mostly) Ann has loved or hated over the years: http://boydsnest.org/news/category/reviews/ Caroline: See the “Reviews” section here at Boyds’ Nest News for notes on a couple dozen books that (mostly) Ann has loved or hated over the years: http://boydsnest.org/news/category/reviews/

]]> By: young c-m http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/comment-page-1/#comment-6413 young c-m Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:55:33 +0000 http://boydsnest.org/news/?p=4944#comment-6413 What a great post, Ann! Thanks for sharing. What a great post, Ann! Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: caroline http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/comment-page-1/#comment-6412 caroline Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:25:51 +0000 http://boydsnest.org/news/?p=4944#comment-6412 ann, i'd love to hear more about the book "unconditional parenting" or other books you might recommend...especially as we enter the terrible (but hopefully not-so-terrible) two's. ann, i’d love to hear more about the book “unconditional parenting” or other books you might recommend…especially as we enter the terrible (but hopefully not-so-terrible) two’s.

]]> By: Kindra http://boydsnest.org/news/2010/the-best-possible-motive/comment-page-1/#comment-6410 Kindra Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:46:20 +0000 http://boydsnest.org/news/?p=4944#comment-6410 Ann, I love this. I have been reading a book called Hold On To Your Kids and for part of the book they talk about something similar, gauging your children's intent instead of the actual result. It IS very challenging for me because I also tend to think that they are deliberately trying to drive me crazy! We're currently in the phase with Ben where his favorite words/phrases are "poop" "fart" "poopy underwear" "stinky feet" and other very pleasant things. I need to remember that he's just being 4 and not trying deliberately to gross me out every minute of the day. Ann, I love this. I have been reading a book called Hold On To Your Kids and for part of the book they talk about something similar, gauging your children’s intent instead of the actual result. It IS very challenging for me because I also tend to think that they are deliberately trying to drive me crazy! We’re currently in the phase with Ben where his favorite words/phrases are “poop” “fart” “poopy underwear” “stinky feet” and other very pleasant things. I need to remember that he’s just being 4 and not trying deliberately to gross me out every minute of the day.

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