Thu, May 29, 2008
Potty-training weekend
We are getting geared up to cross a new frontier in parenting this weekend. This one could get a little messy.
Lucy has been showing signs of so-called “toilet awareness” for several months now: peeing in her potty at regular times (morning and evening), expressing interest in flushing the toilet, and often letting us know when she had a dirty diaper. I didn’t want to get into the potty-training arena before Rosie was born, so we’ve been waiting it out. But Lucy went ahead and pooped in her potty a few weeks ago, so I figure it’s time to get serious about making the big-girl-underpants leap.
Photo: She’s already got the “reading in the can” thing pretty much down pat.
In order to prepare myself, I’ve been doing quite a bit of research over the past few weeks and have hopefully landed on a method that is going to work well for us. I looked into a couple of potty training in one day theories, and while that sounds appealing, I started feeling anxious just reading through the method — too much pressure for me. The approach I like the best comes from Potty Training for Dummies. It incorporates a lot of the good things I read about in the “potty training in one day” schemes, but has a lot more grace thrown in.
Here is a rough outline of our plan: We have chosen a weekend (May 31 – June 1) to devote to potty training. We have been talking it up with Lucy as an awesome, fun weekend. We don’t have anything else planned, so Jon and I can really focus on the girls. The first goal is to have lots of fun and positive experiences as a family. The secondary goal is to help Lucy learn about staying dry in underpants and using the potty for elimination. We plan to use sticker charts, a doll that wets, tasty snacks and drinks, and a naked butt in the great outdoors to help us in the teaching process. Here are some specifics, not all of which are set in stone right now:
- We’ve been trying to build anticipation for Potty Training Weekend around here — showing Lucy the doll, her new underwear, and generally being enthusiastic. We think she is buying it, and we are starting to buy it too!
- First thing, we’ll train Lucy’s new Potty Patty doll to use the potty. Believe it or not, there are all kinds of dolls that pee, but this one wets on demand — you squeeze her belly and out comes the “pee.” Lucy’s already been bonding with Patty, so hopefully this will be fun.
- Next, we’ll explain to Lucy that now she is a big girl, too, and can wear underpants instead of diapers. Maybe we’ll ceremonially put underwear in her diaper drawer?
- Weather-permitting, we’ll move the potty outside and spend some time running around without pants on (that’s just Lucy’s activity, to be clear). Maybe we’ll put on some of the new underwear, too, depending on Lucy’s enthusiasm about it.
- At least once an hour, we’ll put Lucy on the potty. My guess it that Jon will have a little alarm go off on his watch to remind us.
- Stickers will be given on a chart for staying dry at the hourly potty-sits. Maybe they should also be given for times that she sits on the potty and pees or poops? And perhaps a certain number of stickers should result in a treat of some kind?
- At some point, we’ll go back inside and just hope for the best. We’ll probably put some thick towels over upholstered furniture.
- Will we go to church on Sunday? It all depends on how we feel.
- Pull-ups will be used at naptime and bedtime — we aren’t worrying about training during sleeping times yet.
What I didn’t anticipate was how much equipment we would need for this adventure! I’m glad I started researching ahead of time. I think we are all set now with three different kinds of underpants, some pull-ups (for daytime and nighttime), our Potty Patty doll, and the actual potty (which we have had for a long time). Oddly, the only things I’m having a really hard time finding are shiny gold-star stickers. It’s a mystery of modern times: why in the world would it be easier to find a peeing doll than star stickers?
The one thing that all the methods seem to agree on is the “no going back” rule. Once you’ve left diapers behind, that’s the end of them, and do whatever you can do keep your child out of them. I think this is smart, as children learn best with consistency, but I must say it is a tiny bit scary. But I keep telling myself, if I’m terrified about taking Lucy to the grocery store on Monday, June 2, I can always put a pull-up on over her underpants for a safety net.
I’ve been a parent for long enough now that I know I can’t prepare myself for every scenario by reading voraciously. Still, I have unanswered questions:
- What kinds of things do we need to avoid so that Lucy gains consciousness about accidents, but doesn’t feel ashamed?
- What do you do if the weekend doesn’t “work”?
- How do you ease into the regular pattern of life after the potty training blitz?
- How do you get poopy underpants off a toddler without creating a huge mess?
- What kind of cleaners should I have on hand to clean up accidents on wood floors, carpet, upholstery?
- How do we handle the transition to grown-up public toilets?
- What have we forgotten? Please send along your tips!
Jon and I have a date scheduled for Saturday night, after Lucy is asleep — and I think we’ll both be ready for a glass of wine mid-way through our weekend!
This post was last modified May 29, 2008 at 9:10 am
katrina said,
May 29, 2008, at 9:51 am
We used potty patty….make sure she is “full” and that you know how to work her really well so that she is “way cool” (you push her thighs to make her pee). Treats that work well are the really lame ones, we found out. Like $1 toys from target, happy meal toys (maddy doesn’t know they come in happy meals we have never let her on to that), stickers and even books for full days of no accidents. We used the “practice” runs for accidents for a long time…but some times I think they are more torcher for the parent than teaching the child. You might want to buy the training pants form potty patty because they are thick so accidents are mostly contained in the pants and no where else. A piddle pad for the car seat is a good thing too. And now in the diaper bag just take a change of everything for Lu along with Rosie stuff. I always take maddy potty before leaving for some place, when arriving to that place and then right away when home. Then I think the big thing is to not make a big deal out of accidents. We just say, “oh-no, icky” and have her get changed up. It can be very frustrating though. I found that she needs to go every 30 min at first and even every 15 min if she has had juice (that is almost a sin in our house because it goes right through her). Also when watching a “show” on tv we have “pee pauses” to teach her that you can stop it and come back.
Grown up potty…just use them holding on to her. some carry around a little seat that fits on top, but you already have enough to deal with so just help her get on and hold her on. I do like “Kan-doo wipes” for public because she will have a hard time wiping and can still get rashes or spots.
As for if the weekend “doesn’t work” don’t think it will be done in a weekend..you are just teaching the concept to her (which she knows, but now is applying to herself). After the weekend you will find that you just have to stay on top of how much time has gone by and reminding her to go. We also have found that we needed to teach body awareness…when she does the peepee dance we point it out to her and say do you feel the pees in you vagina (we know it isn’t there..but to her that is the front and the butt is the back). She also says, “my tummy feels weird” when she needs to poop. and when she pee/poops we clap and are excited and go on.
I don’t know if that helps. Maddy has been in panties since 19months and most days — weeks we are free of accidents.
Ann said,
May 29, 2008, at 11:24 am
Katrina, these are very helpful tips! Where do you find “Kan-doo wipes”? And are they flushable?
Deborah said,
May 29, 2008, at 12:57 pm
Kandoo are made by Pampers and they are flushable. You can get them at Target, and probably your local grocery store.
katrina said,
May 29, 2008, at 1:17 pm
Ann,
Deborah is right…If you watch target runs good sells on them (at least ours does) but they are a good size and are flushable and once lucy gets into flushing, everything is flushed. So we don’t use wipes around her!! They come with a dispenser and then refills they are purple and green with a frog (the dispenser, not the wipe).
Good Luck.
Hey are you giving rosie bottles at all?
Lydia started day care and I am finding that my milk is not nearly as abondant as it was with Maddy, but I didn’t give her bottles (we tried and she hated them). I hope this isn’t a issue for us, I want to nurse for 2 years again. :-!
kriss said,
May 29, 2008, at 2:48 pm
Gold stars – we bought those at The Learning Tree, a sweet little teacher supply store in Ravenswood. I think it’s at Ravenswood and Irving Park, but I’m not sure – should be in the book if it’s still there. It was a great store to find fun educational stuff like big paper, smelly markers, rhythm instruments and art supplies like clay, etc.
Have fun with potty training! I have absolutely no tips for ya’. All I know is the boys didn’t even start until they got chicken pox and suddenly found diapers uncomfortable. Then they both trained the same week. Thank God. By the way, Maggie trained during the same week.
Luckily you’ve got two girls!
Jolinta said,
May 29, 2008, at 2:57 pm
Hey Ann, if all goes well with Lu in the loo, maybe we can borrow Potty Patty for Abby. She’s currently fairly adamant about not going on the potty, so I ask, but don’t force the issue. I also read in Toddlerwise that the two-fold objective is key. Reward for staying dry in the diaper and a double reward for pee/poop on the potty.
I tried jellybeans a few weeks ago and after a few meltdowns after not getting some (because she was wet) I realized that she didn’t understand the reward concept yet – all she wanted was jellybeans. :)
Tysa said,
May 29, 2008, at 4:42 pm
Those Dri Days pants look very similar to the Gerber plastic outside lots of padding inside pants we used with Kaia. She was terrible to potty train, and I wasn’t going to skip months of church, so on went the Gerber pants. She did have one accident, but I had a pullup with me as a backup.
Good luck! It will take time, but Lucy has already started the process, so just go with the flow… err maybe not the best phrase… If she knows her Dri Days are not for going in, she should be fine. The accidents will happen, and as long as it’s no big deal, just a reminder to pay attention to her body, she’ll keep trying.
We have watched Potty Time Elmo, and that seemed to help Kaia. To this day she will say “My body says I have to” or “But, my body doesn’t say I have to” when we ask her to go before bedtime. Mo is still in the interested in it phase. He enjoys wiping his rear, and sitting on the little potty, but that’s about all.
Lindsay Tako said,
May 29, 2008, at 7:26 pm
Ann,
We also love the Kan-doos. I think wal-mart carries a generic version as well but all flushable. They are particularily good for toddler poop! I had a really hard time with the whole public bathroom thing. I did get the little fold-up elmo potty seat from babies r us ( I think it was $9.99). It was fairly compact and eased my concerns about her being on public toilets (so I’m a total germaphobe!). Now she can sit on the front of a potty and hold herself on by leaning forward so I just put toilet paper on both sides of the circle and since most public toilets are not full circles (they have a break in the front) I put a piece hanging over the front where it is toilet bowl and not seat.
We went cold-turkey and it worked in about two days. Just jump in knowing that it will take a few days and that you shouldn’t feel like it failed if at the end of the 1st day she hasn’t gotten it yet. Marie totally got it by the end of the 2nd day.
Lindsay
Grace Seng said,
May 30, 2008, at 1:32 am
Good luck! I also love our folding potty seat for going in public bathrooms. Public toilets are so yucky! Christine’s favorite potty books were “Everyone Poops” by Taro Gomi and “Once Upon a Potty” by Alona Frankel. She likes to point at the poop pictures and say “oh no – yucky!” I also made up a little “Bye Bye Poo Poo” song we sing when we flush the toilet.
Brad said,
May 30, 2008, at 9:09 am
That photo is totally going in the pile for the Rehearsal Dinner slide show at her wedding.
jm said,
May 30, 2008, at 5:03 pm
No advice on the potty training since I am WAY too chicken to take that on yet. But! Stickers! Aisles and aisles and aisles of every sticker known to man.
CONSTRUCTIVE PLAYTHINGS IN SKOKIE
http://www.insiderpages.com/b/3714095214
Easy to get to. Loads of parking. Cheap. And the size of an old grocery store (which is the building it is in. It’s HUGE!) Also fab for party supplies, games, toys, etc. CP is the BEST!
katrina said,
May 31, 2008, at 2:37 pm
How is the blessed event going?
Nicole said,
May 31, 2008, at 7:04 pm
We also have a folding potty seat that fits in our diaper bag – a must because Benjamin wouldn’t pee if someone was holding onto him (he now pees standing up, so not an issue any more).
As far as if the weekend doesn’t work – feel free to go back to diapers or pull-ups. Benjamin had many signs of potty training readiness a month or so before turning 2 (he started using the potty occasionally, talking about it, etc.). Anyway – I decided to give it a go right around his 2nd birthday and let him run around without pants for a week or two – he got very good at pooping on the potty, but not so great at the pee. Since I already had another child to deal with and didn’t want to be cleaning up messes all day, I put him back in pull-ups and decided to wait to pee train until he was older (because even with pull-ups, he still always pooped on the potty). Anyway – when he was around 2 1/2 I tried again and then it was super easy – I think we had only a few accidents (like once a week) and he got really good at telling us when he needed to go rather than us having to always watch the clock and put him on the potty at specified intervals. So I would say that if it’s not working out, unless you really want her trained now, don’t feel bad to wait until she’s a bit older – it could be easier on everyone.
Also, if she starts to seem resistant to it, it may be best to switch back to diapers for a while – otherwise it can become a control battle which will slow her progress. I found that when Benjamin was a little resistant to me saying “time to go potty now”, it worked well to set a timer – then the timer indicated it was time to try, not Mommy.
We did a sticker chart for him. I printed out the train one from http://www.childavenue.com/pages/family_corner_pages/printables.html – I colored it with markers and made every 3 boxes the same color. When all of one color was complete he got a special reward (in our house it was a gumball). I abandoned the potty chart when he started going in, peeing a bit, getting the sticker, going back in, peeing some more, getting another sticker and again to get to the magic 3 number to get gum!
Benjamin is so easy now that we don’t even have to ask him if he needs to go anymore and I stopped carrying a change of clothes around in the diaper bag. We just got back from a trip to Texas and I didn’t even worry about him in underwear on the airplane. Our next adventure is underwear at night time (He already wears them for naps). He’s had dry pull-ups every morning for a couple weeks now, so I think he’s ready for that step.
Tysa said,
May 31, 2008, at 8:50 pm
Hope all is well this weekend! Mo is cracking me up! He goes and stands in front of the toilet and grabs himself like he’s going to go. So soon, very soon, we will have 2 potty trained kids.
Kelli said,
June 11, 2008, at 12:26 pm
Oh man, we are at least a year away from this “milestone” but I’m so nervous about it. I have NO experience in this…but I think that I’ll start with your book suggestions when the time gets closer. You’ve also got great questions posted here and I’ll tag this [and future] post[s] for reference. Good luck to you all! :)
brandy said,
June 24, 2008, at 1:58 pm
Target and walmart both have a store brand of the flushable wipes! We are potty training Kiersten now too! the day she turned two she wanted her panties most of the time. On days I have tons of errands to do I put a pull up or diaper on her and let her wear those for sleepy times. I am gonna try to find the pads for the carseat that someone else commented on! I hope all the training is going well for you guys we are down to a combination of a max of 3 non potty episodes each day (accidents and diapers included). So we are pretty happy and excited about it!