Comments on: Worth something

By: kriss

kriss — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:37:34 +0000

When I had two and three and four I used to make the older babies go for “quiet time” in their room as soon as the baby went down for a nap. Of course, it was hardly quiet, as they were all bouncing off the wall of a shared room on a floor futon. Those that were in potty training got really good at timing their poops during quiet time, because I’d let them out for that! But – it did give me a moment of peace to read something, like the Bible or Vogue Magazine, and maybe journal or sneak a fast shower. Later on when the kids were older and able to play relatively peacefully on their own, crazy quiet time did evolve into an hour a day when they knew I’d be reading and they’d have to do without me. On days when none of this worked, I could always lock myself in the bathroom for a while. Maggie got in the habit of saying, “Mommy, you pee for a long time.” Funny thing is, my teenage introverted Maggie is now the one who we often find in the bathroom reading!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 00:26:20 +0000

I’ve got to say that having the second baby has actually helped me to take more time for myself. When I only had Benjamin, I was very diligent about getting things done during nap time (like cleaning, baking, etc.). Now that I have two and am crazy busy with both all day long and they only overlap naps for maybe 45 minutes, I take that time and just sit. Sometimes I read a book, sometimes I surf the Internet, sometimes I just sit on the couch and enjoy the silence. I guess being exhausted is a good way to force yourself to take a break. Sure, the house is a mess, but that small break during the day preserves my sanity.

I’ve also gotten better at doing things that I used to do with Benjamin sleeping with him awake. He “helps” me clean the bathrooms, vacuum the floor, make dinner, do the dishes (he loves the soap bubble), “fold” the laundry so that I can take more of a break when he’s sleeping instead of doing these other things.

I also try to do things with the kids that help me feel refreshed. Things like taking walk on a sunny day or going to the Library to get a new book. We also like to go to the mall and just walk around (Benjamin especially loves it as he gets to walk next to the stroller and can see in all the stores since the windows go to the floor).

By: Katrina

Katrina — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 21:26:59 +0000

There is a book called, “finding the me in mommy” I forget who wrote it but she is Christian. I found it to have a lot of great ideas for re-discovering yourself as a new woman. I have struggled with this as being a mom means you now come last. I always put Madelyn’s and Brian’s needs first then the church people’s and then mine…but I never have time for me and if I take time it seems to make the whole day fall apart or I feel guilty. But then when I go a long period with out me-time I turn into a big ugly beast (well ugly is normal, but not the beast part). So I do some of the little things this author suggested. Like pray little prayers while cleaning….when washing dishes I pray that God would wash my heart and make it pure for him. I love putting in “Seeds” Cds (songs for memorizing scripture) and Maddy and I dance…CRAZY dance (no one is watching!). It is a rear day that I get a real quiet time, but I get a few minuets here and there where I can stop and breath in the breath of God, where I can relax and examine how I a feeling at that moment. Now that maddy is getting to be a child (not needy baby) I can finally do things like take a shower with out looking out of the shower to see if she is eating stuff out of the trash. This helps me feel sane.

So I know how you feel. I pray that you will find a pace that works for you and that you can fuel yourself so you can go full force for everyone else. Blessings.
Katrina.

By: kriss

kriss — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:37:56 +0000

Once your full-time mom career starts it becomes crazy difficult to tune into your personal needs the way it used to be. I think the best idea is to take a little bit of time, or even list-brainstorm as you go through a day, and decide what sort of self-nurturing things are important for you right now. Then SCHEDULE them in, thereby forcing yourself to attend to them. There they are, right on the schedule for you and Jon and Lucy and everyone else to see. “Oops, there’s my appointment, got to go!” and off you head to the coffee shop or pool or whatever. You won’t regain a quiet sense of self for many years! And that’s OK. So make taking care of you happen anyway. You’ll schedule well-care doctor appointments for Lucy, so do the same for Ann.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 02:10:21 +0000

I’m so glad you write about these topics. I appreciate your thoughts!

By: Tysa

Tysa — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 16:41:35 +0000

We have a young mom’s devo at church. For one whole hour, our kids are in the fellowship hall being entertained by other church members, while we spend time in prayer, in worship, and catching up on life. What a blessed hour.

Someone once told me, “before you have a child you don’t know what your life will be like with them, after you have a child, you don’t remember what you did without them.” So so sooooo true. Part of “me” is my kids. I took them to grammy’s so hubby and I could go camping and not worry about the kids, and I missed them. Things just aren’t the same when I dont have them with me. I do recommend the short escape though. For me I love to leave them with dad, while I go get a coffee or go grocery shopping. It is hard to shop though as I like to tell the kids everything we are buying and discuss the different brands/varieties. People think I“m wierd when I say “these green peppers are awfully bruised, no wonder they’re on sale” and I’m the only one there.

By: Keri

Keri — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 18:08:36 +0000

Oh, Ann, this area of balance is a big challenge for me too. Redefining myself as me after children is confusing because I really love being dedicated to my family, serving them, teaching them, enjoying them. An occasional Girls’ Night Out almost seems selfish until I (or Darel) points out that it gives me more energy and joy to come home for more family time. When Abi was about 18 months old, it felt possible and not-too-stressful to have a regular Keri Night Out. I took a quilt-making class at the local fabric store. I took an Historical Jesus class at my church. I took knitting or the laptop to the coffee house. I took a prenatal yoga class as Josi’s birth approached. I look forward to the near future when I can have a fun, healthy, much-needed and regularly-scheduled time away from home. This mamma needs it. :)