My kids were all terrible sleepers. I tried so many different things to change it, but failed at all of them, probably less because of the kids’ temperament and more because of my inconsistency. None of the kids slept through the night until the age of two, and even then they would still sometimes wake us up.

Nowadays, except for the oldest, who has a disability, and needs us to turn her over in bed at night, they are all excellent sleepers, and if it weren’t for the oldest, my DH and I would enjoy long, luxurious nights of sleep. Also, the kids are healthy and happy for the most part.

So, keep looking for what works best for you, (and be more consistent than I was—LOL) but if nothing works, don’t worry too much. You’ll just learn a lot about patience and perseverence, and how to act cheerful when you are so tired you feel like strangling perfect strangers who look rested.

we ended up getting a fullsize bed off craigslist to push up against our queen sized bed so all 3 of us would have plenty of room, although i still seem to end up with only 1/3 of the bed most nights! i know that wouldn’t work for some, depending on the size of the bed.

i agree that regardless of what any authors say, each family needs to find a sleep arrangement that works for them. some babies need their own beds to sleep soundly. others like to feel a warm body (which i can’t blame them; i know before i had cadence, i wouldn’t have been able to sleep well without my husband snuggled next to me).

i empathisize with those not getting sleep. cadence (who’s 2 yo) must be having growing pains because she kept me up all last night.

And I want to say that I totally agree with Nicole Wetzel — there are some books that DO sometimes make a person feel bad about co-sleeping. It is one of the things I really dislike about Tracy Hogg’s writing and others. I think the best advice I’ve heard is to try to find a situation where both you and your baby are getting the sleep you need.

Really, you gave me some encouragement and things to chew on. Thank you.
blessings.

I don’t know you but hoping I can be a little comfort…

All four of my kids slept in our bed at some point and they all had rough transitions to sleeping alone (except for the one who still sleeps in our bed.) We only have room for a full-size bed, and didn’t want to turn the living room into one huge bed… so the family bed thing really wasn’t an option for us.

For all four kids we had to make the no-nursing-at-night a separate transition from the no-sleeping-in-our-bed. The nursing-at-night stopped anywhere from one year to three years old, and the rest of the transition was up to five years old for our kids.

Our first slept in our bed without nursing for a few weeks, and he cried for awhile…. he was old enough to understand “you can nurse in the morning when it’s light out.” I was pregnant at the time and couldn’t handle nursing at night. after we made that transition, then we transitioned him to sleeping in the crib with Mama/Papa sleeping on the floor next to our crib (we live in a trailer – no room big enough for a bed AND crib), then to sleeping in the crib with Mama shushing him till he was sleepy, etc. Each time there were tears and even tantrums, but like you when we tried the “cold turkey” approach we had up to two hours of screams…. taking it in little steps worked.

The next child we walked in circles with until she was asleep, and when she was cured of the nursing at night, she basically was cured of the waking up at night.

The bigger twin we rocked in the recliner instead of nursing at night, and from there we transitioned to the crib.

The littler twin still sleeps in bed with us, but finally no more night nursing. When he nurses to sleep at night (on the couch) we put him in his crib. Gradually he is sleeping longer at night, and sometimes by going in and covering him back up when he kicks blankets off he can get till 4 am or 5 am, so there’s hope. I think a lot of what he wants is the warmth of our bed and no crinkly plastic mattress cover. We took to placing a beach towel in between the mattress cover and the fitted sheet, and laying a large flannel blanket over the fitted sheet and tucking it in, then a quilt on top, and the extra softness and warmth seems to help (he’s 2-1/2 now so we don’t have the fear of choking.)

Though the twins started out sleeping in the crib, we did have twin babies sleeping in our full-size bed with us for awhile. We have fold-down bedrails on both sides, and one slept on either side of me. We really got no sleep that way, the bed was just too full – but the bedrails helped extend the space. What ended up happening is that Daniel would take one twin in the recliner and I’d take the other one in bed, and then when Daniel’s baby got hungry we’d switch babies. We were just so exhausted that it didn’t matter.

Taking naps a lot gave me the energy to make changes. We took it in little steps. :o) Best of luck to you… or maybe I should say “best of God’s grace to you” :o)

Nicole W,
Thanks for those words. I don’t know many who have chosen to co-sleep. It is good to hear from an experienced mom and co-sleeper. We never really chose to co-sleep with the move and several conferences for work (which forced her into our bed because there were no cribs and she wouldn’t sleep in the porta-crib any more) we had to go to co-sleeping. Last night we once again started to try to move her to her bed and all it did is make me sick to my stomach and her over tired as she cryed anytime I was out of sight. 3 hours later she was in my bed and sound asleep the min I put her there (she is just as stuborn as me).
I guess I just can’t decide if I want to battle it. Is it really worth it to move her? Although I swore I wouldn’t have a family bed! teach me not to swear!!

My fear is that when we try for #2 (maybe in August, she is 9 mo now) I will be prego with her still in the bed and then there will be 4 of us. I don’t think I can handle that.
Did you have that?

There have been times when I have a love/hate relationship with our decision to co-sleep. It definately makes those early mornings easier when your baby is really little. But when our twins were two and still in bed with us…there were times when I felt like Ruth in the Bible because I would wake up sleeping at andy’s feet…..and I did not always have blankets!!

I think I know more co-sleepers and have leared to make adjustments thus things are working pretty well with Naomi. We do have nights were I feel like i am nursing non-stop and those are not fun. Especially with 3 boys to homeschool in the morning but for the most part we are enjoying the arrangement.

Our three boys have all graduated from our bed. Yeah! But they do cuddle up in bed with each other now. That is precious to see. We have read some of the books that Ann has suggested. And although there were some great ideas, having made the decision to co-sleep, I personally always felt like our sleep arrangement was somehow not right in the eyes of some of those authors. You may find it helpful to read Dr. Sears, Nightime Parenting as well as the others. He addresses some of the things you are going through and comes from a co-sleeping perspective.

In the end you need to do what will be the best for the three of you….where you all get sleep. I hope that things settle down a bit for you.

As far as transitioning her from your bed to the crib – we didn’t ever really let Benjamin in our bed so it wasn’t an issue for us, but I have the Healthy Sleep Habits book and I looked to see what they suggested, take it or leave it:

Dr. Weissbluth recommends putting the crib right next to your bed with the drop railing next to the bed and down so the baby is essentially “in” your bed. Once the baby is used to sleeping in that manner, put the rail up and move the crib away from the bed a little bit. Gradually move it farther and farther until the baby is in her own room.

Of course, if you’re trying to kick the nighttime nursing habit this might not work great for you since if she’s that close to you she’ll be able to smell you and will probably still want to nurse.